Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

 

^^ that actually happened to me once, no kidding. FML :disappointed:

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

 

:laugh3::laugh3:

^^ that actually happened to me once, no kidding. FML :disappointed:

 

aw, sorry... but remember "My life sucks but I don't give a fuck"

i'm so addicted to this site now

aw, sorry... but remember "My life sucks but I don't give a fuck"

Hahaha totally and cheers for that site, i'm getting addicted reading all the comments there :lol:

Hahaha, that site is brill!! And apologies to Renny, that must've sucked like shit :sad:.

 

Today, a 32 year old man I had been dating for a few months, finally took me to his place. To my surprise, this bachelor had a huge and very clean home! Also, to my surprise, I met the REAL homeowner. His grandmother, who came home early. We were having sex on her couch at the time. FML

i'm so addicted to this site now

I'm chipotle. I give you the first two for free and then you're hooked :sneaky:

Ahahaha, I love this one:

 

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaims "that was amazing Drew..." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name which does not sound a thing like Drew. FML

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

 

ouch.. :sick:

personal FML:

today was the day that tickets went on sale for the coldplay gig that i want to go to, but i had a previous engagement during the time when the tickets started to go on sale. i ended up not being able to try to buy tickets until 5 hours after they had first gone on sale, and when i tried to find tickets, ALL that was left were LAWN seats. so now i have to try to find good seats on some other site which may or may not be reliable. and it will cost A LOT more. FML.

I'll have to remember that one :laugh3:

That PM I sent you... I'd really appreciate if you just ignore it.

 

He wanted to rule the world

Why do all good things come to an end?

HAHAHAHA I looove this site! :laugh3: My life has been pretty shitty lately, so I've been visiting this site to make myself feel better. :P That's awful, isn't it?

 

I was so bored at 4 in the morning today that I went on and I bursted out laughing reading the stuff in my dead silent house. :lol: I have a few of my own FMLs from today, but I can't seem to exactly remember what happened...

:uhoh: I feel badly for laughing at some of the stories on that site, but they're hilarious! I'm officially addicted :P

HAHAHAHA I looove this site! :laugh3: My life has been pretty shitty lately, so I've been visiting this site to make myself feel better. :P That's awful, isn't it?

same here...:embarassed:

 

.....:laugh3:

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

 

Awesome.

dp

:laugh3::laugh3:

 

that site is amazing! i can't quote all the FMLs i like :D

This site is brilliant! Great job finding it!

 

Today, I went to the Doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

These are funny, hahah.

 

Today, I got fired from a great baby sitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML

 

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

 

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML

hahaha i love it

 

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

this one afraid me

"Today, when my boyfriend and I were lying in bed, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML"

 

 

My evil side (which doesn't exist) believes this one was submitted by the above mentioned boyfriend:

 

"Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob.

When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock.

I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML"

^^ i posted that :disappointed:

 

 

*looks for more ice*

^ well then, are you also the "gobble gobble" boyfriend? :veryangry2:

Erm nope, i'm not that mean :wacko:

ok, then you didn't deserve that. more ice?

 

*offers*