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What's more difficult?


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It's more difficult forcing myself not to cry. I cry over everything, I'm just like that. The slightest things:



I'm much better at hiding my anger, usually I can put on a happy face and pretend everything is fucking peachy.

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Pretending I'm not mad is more difficult. The only thing I succeed in doing is acting standoff-ish, so people know I'm upset about something.


If I feel like I'm going to cry I can usually avoid it pretty easily by pinching myself really hard somewhere. The pain is distracting.

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Ever since I felt immensely weird crying once in front of idiots when I was little, I never cried in front of anyone again, so holding tears is pretty easy to me.


But anger isn't that easy. I tend to isolate myself but just when someone makes me lose patience, which rarely happens, but a few hours ago that happened and I was practically burning.

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