"we want to create the most amazing, uniting experience."

 

that you do, coldplay. that you do.

I read this from the beginning, and I have been laughing my ass off for hours now. Let's see some of my favorites, shall we?

I've been reading the Look at the Stars book...and it has a lot of great quotes, these are just my favourites from it:

 

"I can walk into a room and be Chris from Coldplay...but Will's seen me running around in my pants backstage, doing an impression of Frank Spencer." - Chris

 

"When it comes to girls, I just behave like an idiot...I'm very good at maintaining my relationship with Jonny, though." - Chris :D

 

and this one is sweet:

"We'd all like to meet the right person one day, but in one sense of my life, I've already met the right people." - Chris

Awwww.... :heart:

 

Chris: "Each of us had very, very strict parents who would lock us in our rooms until we learnt a new chord. Will's parents were particularly harsh. He was not allowed food until he could learn a new Beatles song every day."

**Screen goes to Will who looks serious**

Chris: "That's why he's so depressed."

 

Chris (to Jonny): "Did you have lessons? Piano lessons?"

Jonny: " I had some piano lessons... then my teacher gave up."

Chris: "What, cos you were that bad?"

Jonny: *laughs

Chris: "You were unteachable."

 

LMAO. Good stuff

 

Some 2003 DVD quotes, sorry if they have already been posted:

 

Chris: What I object to about liam Gallagher’s comments, is that you look more like a geography teacher.

Guy: That’s not true

Chris: It is true. Look at his jacket.

Guy: What about that jacket?

Chris: Do I look like I’m about to tell you the capital of Peru? No.

Guy: Look at your Spanish Shirt. Spain’s part of geography, isn’t it?

Someone, don’t know who: Part of it

Chris:[mocking] “That’s part of geography, isn’t it?”

Chris: … we all look like teachers.”

 

About being back from Touring, Guy: I find myself being really stressed. When I'm back for the first day in the house, i've got nothing to do. There's no-one to tell me what time I've got to be where. There's no one to... cook my dinner.

 

Chris: I wish everyone didn't ask us about how boring we are.

 

Guy: And the phone just doesn't stop ringing all day you know? I just wanna... *phone rings*

 

Will: It makes a difference when you've got people that are trying to get interesting answers out of you.

Guy: (on the phone) An entertainment magazine? OK.

Will: You get so many that are just... really crass, asking really stupid, pointless questions.

Guy: (still on the phone) The thing about pizzas, it's the thinness of bread which makes a good pizza.

WIll: It just makes for a bad interview.

Guy: (still, on the phone) Dodgiest musical influences? That would have to be Genesis. Do you know who that is? Phil Collins, yeah.

Will: There you go.

 

Interviewer: How do you prepare as a drummer? Do you do any exercises?

Will: Uh, Table football.

 

Person: Oxfam. A million sign-ups. Desmond Tutu was the millionth.

Chris: You're joking.

Person: No.

Guy: Was that a coincidence?

Person: Pardon?

Guy: Was that a coincidence?

Chris: Yeah. He just happened to be at one of our gigs the other day.

 

Jonny: (answering the phone) Hello? Hello Mike. Really? I don't know you either, so it's OK. I'm Jonny.

 

Chris (I think), when they are driving up that mountain: ... Are the brakes still working?

 

Jonny: Who wants a run?

Will: Race you to the top.

Jonny: *runs off*

Will: Jonny! Not a good idea.

 

WIll (I think): This has to to hold a record, for the highest interview ever!

 

Jonny: I always forget my pass... *is walking to the... back stage I think*

Security: Can I see your credentials, please?

Jonny: I don't have mine yet. I'm in the band.

Security: I'm sorry.

Jonny: It's OK... I'll show you a picture.

Security: Do you have a photo ID?

Jonny: Yeah.

Security: Mind if I look at that?

For the Berrygirls: learn how to cook, and then offer Guy your services :wink3:

 

“It's very hard to find things that rhyme with North American Free Trade Agreement.”[Chris]

 

"I send my love to Liam. We're not in a fight with everyone - except George Bush.” [Chris]

 

“Our Canadian fans are extraordinary — we love Canada.” [Chris]

 

"In my mind, when God made women, he did an amazing job. I think girls are just perfect." [Chris] ^^:kiss::D

 

"We do work incredibly hard – we have spent a lot of time touring, especially in America – but we're constantly surprised by how well things are going for us." [Will]

 

“We don't want to be as big as U2. I like U2. It's a band that still makes good records. We'd like to make a couple more good records.”[Jonny]

 

“I'll take a run around the venue and right past all the fans, and nobody realizes I'm running past them,”[Guy]

 

“I think I've kind of got the best position. I get all the benefits of being in one of the biggest bands in the world and have a certain anonymity as well. So I'm perfectly happy with the situation.” [Guy]

I disagree with the last quote. I mean, who wouldn't recognize Guy? one of the most handsome men alive, for Pete's sake!

 

Chris: We've got the greatest job in the world.. Except for Shakira's dancers. That's gotta be a great place to be, behind Shakira.

:laugh3::laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

 

It’s sort of not doing any work for an exam and doing it all the night before [Guy]

I'm the best non-playing drummer in the world. No one doesn’t play like me. [Will]

And then we’re gonna do nine months of residency in Eurodisney. No, we’re not. We’re just going to play France. [Chris]

Chris: We don’t listen to our own music.

Interviewer: Why not?!

Chris: Well, because we know it’s bad!

I’m kind of, like, Ronald McDonald. I’m the face of the band, but I don’t really do the cooking. [Chris]

We [Coldplay e Sigur Rós] always seem to release albums at the same time and theirs are always better, but we’re are more good-looking, so we sell more records. [Chris]

We don’t mind being compared to anybody, even the Backstreet Boys. But no one ever compares us to them. [Chris]

You know, if you go on a safari, you may be bitten by a lion, but it doens’t mean you should stop going on safari... Or complain about the lion. You know, what form of safari it’d be without a lion? [Chris]

Comparing them [cds do Coldplay] is like comparing a fish with, you know, a pack of biscuits. You know, you can do it, but it might not be that... tangible. It doens’t make any sense... Time for commercial! [Chris]

Chris: We always touch the heads for some reason.

Jonny: If anyone of us got nits, it would be a nightmare...

Chris: We share nits and lice before we go on stage. Will doesn’t because he’s got shaved hair.

Jonny: But he gets beard one.

As soon as the song ‘Square One’ existed, it was always going to open the album because you can’t have a song called ‘Square One’ and put it in track seven. [Chris]

Festivals are a great chance to, sort of, meet everybody and see what everybody else is doing and steal all their ideas. [Jon]

I think hopefully we've got enough brain cells left to decide if our music is really worth something. [Will]

I think you have to have long hair to play a stadium, because if you flick your head in a stadium and you don't have long hair, the person at the back just thinks you're having some sort of attack.[Chris]

Coldplay is for people with great taste, intelligence, incredible good lookingness, talent, ability, success, grabbing of life. Coldplay's for people who know what life's about. They're always entertaining. Delightful to talk to. Sweet, charming, incredibly good in bed. Virile. They have incredible success with girls, or boys, or both. They're generally just the world's best citizens. Maybe I'm biased, but I'm definitely right. [Chris]

Normally, we don’t like to be arrogant, but we haven’t been to Denmark or Norway or anywhere for a while and yesterday, we got voted the best group in the world by everyone in Scandinavia... And it turned out we had over 27 votes, which is very many votes. And the only other nominee was The Backstreet Boys... So we were always gonna win! [Chris]

 

CHRIS: “Last year, in an attempt to impress my family I tried to cook some fish and peas, but I forgot to turn on the vent. And the thing about our fire alarm is that it's connected to the fire station. So the fire engine comes around, and I was in a panic. I said, ‘Guys, I'm sorry. There's no fire'. Then, two months later, I said, ‘Right - I'm gonna have another crack at this' - and the same thing happened. Just as I'm running outside, the fire engine pulls up and the fireman says: ‘Have you been cooking again, Chris?' So then I had to take a walk because I was a bit shaky. As it happened, the fire engine was going the same way, and they said, ‘Do you want a lift?'”

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I almost choke cuz I'm laughing hard.

 

what was that quote from Jonny about being attacked by a sheep?

I'm wondering the same :thinking:

this was from jonny out of rolling stone, and i laughed out loud:

 

"There's sort of a whole heap of things that we do before the show," says Buckland. "Obviously we get changed, we do a bit of singing, play the guitar and just sort of relax for a bit before. But we don't deflower any virgins or anything like that."

 

yeah this is one of my favs! :D

it's crazy how much Jonny has changed since when they first started.. I don't think he would have ever said anything like that 8 or more years ago.

"Guy's got his sunglasses on, I'm talking too much. We're off to a nipple-peep show. Happy Christmas! Bye!" ~Chris Martin

 

:laugh3:

^^^ I think I'm going to put it in my sig.

Keep em coming, these are hilarious!

i love these...and yay for 500 posts!!!!

Reposts.

 

there was a very funny quote on mtv spin (germany) last monday. they showed a snipped of coldplay talking about christmas...

I can't remember chris's exact words, but he said something like "and then there was another incident when I caught father christmas having sex with my mother. I told him that I want to have more presents, otherwise I'd tell my father." :lol: :lol:

 

well, I think it's clear that father christmas actually was his father. xD

and NO, the quote wasn't mistranslated by some stupid germans, because they showed subtitles and didn't translate it at all. :dozey: :rolleyes:

 

Coldplay’s latest hit is an ode to the assets of Mariah Carey.

Except you would have had to have been at the China Club on Thursday to hear its one-off performance.

 

 

Chris Martin’s band was giving a private concert for winners of a contest sponsored by radio station WPLJ, when he was asked about the competition between Coldplay’s “X&Y” and Carey’s “The Emancipation of Mimi” for biggest-selling album of 2005.

 

 

When WPLJ reporter Brad Blanks asked Martin how he felt about having Mariah on his tail, he replied: “She’s not, but one of her boobs is. They do most of her work. Last week I was chased down the street by an enormous boob. I think it was hers.”

 

 

Martin even made up a song on the spot, sitting at his keyboard: “Man’s been traveling through space and man’s been to the moon and man’s spent most of his intelligence desiring Mariah Carey boobs.”

 

 

As the crowd laughed, he continued: “Mariah Carey’s boobs are so nice, and she don’t mess around. If she had been aboard the Titanic, there’s no way that ship would have gone down.”

 

 

Can’t wait for Mariah’s response track.

 

:laugh4:

 

Chris stops halfway through ‘Til Kingdom Come’ to chastise someone for looking the wrong way - CLASSIC!. Audio is on the the Coldplayer, but here’s a transcript.

Hey, hey, hey! Are you ok? Look. You’re facing the wrong way man. I’ve never seen anyone going quite so nuts but facing the wrong way. Are you ok? Now we’re worried about our concert people man. Where the lights are is where the band is. Now where are we Will? [that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen at a concert]. Where were we? At the end of Till Kingdom Come. Excuse us very much.

 

:laugh4:

haha because he's too handsome to walk the streets :)

My favorite quote is probably "Chocolate and bondage."

 

XDXD When I first heard that I was laughing so hard.

one of my favorites is from the live 2003 dvd. chris is talking about liam gallagher's comment about how he supposedly looks like a geography teacher (still not sure what thats supposed to mean or how he came up with that o_O haha). anyway i'll have to paraphrase because i dont know it word for word but it goes something like this:

 

Chris: I'm going to object to Liam Gallagher's comment. I think you look far more like a geography teacher. (to Guy)

Guy Jonny and Will: That's not true.

Chris: It is true! Look at his jacket!

Guy: Look at yours!

Chris: Do I look like I'm about to tell you the capital of Peru?

Guy: Yes.

Chris: No.

Guy: Yes. Look at the writing on your shirt, it's Spanish. That's a part of geography, Spain.

Chris: (laughing) Yes, Spain is a part of geography.

 

:D i love this thread. these are all so funny!

"we could never have become famous if it wasn't for Guy and his looks"-Chris ( so true) :)

"that's Will's world behind those screens,Guy's area where he stands and is handsome,Jonny's area where he stands and looks at Guy....."-Chris lol

Interviewer:the money spent on this album(VLV)could buy...........

Jonny:eight thousand dalmatians!!!!!!!:)

got this one off Blender magazine

hahah i love all of these quotes too! :p :P

 

hahah ah...i love all the ones from the Tour diary they are so hilarious! i like the end of the tour diary (sorry i dont remember the exact phrasing) but Guy tells Chris that they should take off after the concert in a hot air baloon :laugh3: and Chris says that woudl be amazing but too presumptuous or something!

 

 

and then at the very end that crazy chick who like grabs Chris b4 he gets in the car and she says

"the first time i saw u i cried my eyes out!!!"

Chris: "o im so sorry!!!"

 

hahahah that chick is so funny the way she tries to climb over and everything :laugh3:

hahah i love all of these quotes too! :p :P

 

hahah ah...i love all the ones from the Tour diary they are so hilarious! i like the end of the tour diary (sorry i dont remember the exact phrasing) but Guy tells Chris that they should take off after the concert in a hot air baloon :laugh3: and Chris says that woudl be amazing but too presumptuous or something!

 

 

and then at the very end that crazy chick who like grabs Chris b4 he gets in the car and she says

"the first time i saw u i cried my eyes out!!!"

Chris: "o im so sorry!!!"

 

hahahah that chick is so funny the way she tries to climb over and everything :laugh3:

hahahahaha i know! i laughed so hard at that girl. it really makes me wonder how i would act if i ever had the privelage of meeting those wonderful human beings! probably scare them away... haha. :D

haha I remember that!Chris was like"that's nice, I'm sorry I've got to go"

One of them is in my sig :)

 

Here are some other ones:

 

"Steven Seagal, sounds a lot like seagull. Can you name another celebrity...with...a...bird-based surname?" - Chris

 

"Steven Seagal has a ponytail. What is the...other use of...pony's tails?" - Chris

 

There are many more quotes in the interview where these came from. Enjoy :D

 

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN_jdwVtPVE]YouTube - Chris Martin Interview - January 2009[/ame]

"in a telescope lens and when all you want's friends..."

Hey, does anyone have a video or something of when that crazy girl starts grabbing Chris and stuff? Never got the chance to see it. Thanks! =)

Hey, does anyone have a video or something of when that crazy girl starts grabbing Chris and stuff? Never got the chance to see it. Thanks! =)

The one guyluvsliz talked about? It's on the Tpur Diary from 2003. :nice:

The one guyluvsliz talked about? It's on the Tpur Diary from 2003. :nice:

Thanks sweetie! Now I need some money... would you kind people be nice enought to...:D

Haha kidding. I love this thread!

"we could never have become famous if it wasn't for Guy and his looks"-Chris ( so true) :)

"that's Will's world behind those screens,Guy's area where he stands and is handsome,Jonny's area where he stands and looks at Guy....."-Chris lol

 

LOL :lol:

those are both great!

"that's Will's world behind those screens,Guy's area where he stands and is handsome,Jonny's area where he stands and looks at Guy....."-Chris lol

one of my favorites:lol:

i love that entire interview(:

Interviewer: "So what makes Jonny such a great bandmate?

 

Chris: "BED mate?"

 

:D

^ :lol:

 

"Please visit maketradefair.com, please eat more chocolate, and please listen to more Coldplay"

 

This is what now came into my mind, but there are a lot more of course! :)

Chris: "My little brother doesn't really like Coldplay, he's into

heavier stuff..."

Interviewer: "Like metal?"

Chris: "No, fatter singers."

 

:lol:

 

BUMMMMP!