The Official Club Football 2014-2015 thread

[Petit Prince]

A friend just sent me this. I thought it was kinda funny.

 

 

[busybeeburns]

The joke's on Tottenham

 

SPURS may be struggling - but it has given fans of everyone else a right laugh.

The jokes are coming thick and fast as Huande Ramos' men plunge new depths.

 

And here are some of the best:

 

I met this really kinky girl last night. 'Humiliate me,' she said ... So I bought her a Tottenham shirt.

 

What does THFC stand for? Tottenham Heading For the Championship.

 

David Blaine was gutted today to find out that his record for spending 48 days in a box doing absolutely nothing has just been broken by Darren Bent of Spurs, England.

 

Spurs players are being forced to shop at Argos so they can collect Premier points.

 

Tottenham have just announced they are having a new shirt sponsor til the end of the season-Butlins. It's convenient because both their seasons end in October.

 

Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive, in it he said Spurs rubbish recently. Britsh intelligence dissmissed it saying: "That could have been recorded anytime in the last 8 years"

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/article1853620.ece

[mc_squared]

What about this one I heard last night??

 

What do cowboys and the English Premier League have in common??

 

They both have spurs down bottom, of course!!:P

[HorrificAttack]

What's the difference between a triangle and Spurs?

[busybeeburns]

a triangle has three points :dozey:

[HorrificAttack]

It's lame I know, but I just love not being the laughing stock of the league

[busybeeburns]

Does losing to your closest rivals for the first time away from home in the league for 28 years not count?

[Bonus_mosher]

plus the fact that newcastle are by far more of a laughing stock than spurs this season.

 

that coming from an arsenal fan tells you everything you need to know.

 

my brother is a season ticket holder at the stadium of light and he said sunderland were amazing today, which can only mean one thing....

 

sunderland weren't amazing, newcastle were just piss poor.

 

another season where you shoot yourself in the foot.

[HorrificAttack]

Wow what's with the ridiculously incorrect statements

 

We lost to the better team, that doesn't make us a laughing stock, I said before the game "Sunderland are a good team this season, we'll probably lose" it's not as if we are amazing and they are terrible, they are good and we are going through a really bad patch with off-field issues and a terrible tactician in control at the moment

 

---------

 

I meant at the moment, I realise the majority of Newcastle fans are complete morons and have shown us up this season, I was actually ashamed to be at the games leading up to the announcement from Mike Ashley, it was just horrible to watch misinformed masses attacking a man who has done nothing wrong because a man who was here when we were once amazing doesn't like him.

 

All that means is your brother is biased, they had a better team out than us, we had Shola Ameobi up front with an Oba Martins who has just returned from injury and had very little supply from Geremi (aka the worst player at our club), they had a proven scorer in the French league supported by Malbranque and Diouf (who although I can't stand is a good player) both of whom are experienced and dangerous wingers.

 

We were never going to win with the team we had out, but it's a team we were forced into playing, thanks to injuries.

 

Kinnear is also partly to blame, he was too blind to see that Ameobi is not a good player and that Jonas and Barton really should have been on the pitch for a lot longer, Barton played the last 5 mins, what impact can he possibly have then?

 

Sam Allardyce is the single worst appointment the club as ever had, followed by another terrible appointment Kevin Keegan (if you want me to argue about that I have a lot more to say on the matter)

 

So yes I guess we have "shot ourselves in the foot"

 

But we made good investments in the Summer window and our squad was looking like it could at least cope as we were playing well, Keegan spat his dummy out and fucked the whole thing up for us, leaving is in the mess we are in at the moment

 

Spurs thought they were better than they were, sold their best players, bought worse ones for more money and have struggled, I've never liked Spurs and that tactic in the window was terrible and it is actually ridiculous, they have more attention than us for being poor at the moment, so currently yes, they are the laughing stock.

[Black Rose]

 

Comeon Hull, from bottom of the league pyramid to joint top of the premiership in only a few years :)

[Black Rose]

:( :( :( :( :( :(

 

:bigcry:

 

if rumours are true

[Bonus_mosher]

keegan was an outstanding appointment.

 

he loves the club, and if you remember after he had a month or so last season newcastle started winning week in, week out, they notched up some pretty good results along the way. then when he went, the players just lost all of their motivation, plus the fact that they were all up for sale on the last day of the market.

 

the club is a joke itself.

 

and the fans are exactly the same.

[Black Rose]

He went because the management were selling players behind his back.

[Bonus_mosher]

i know why he went, I couldn't escape from it in the tabloids are on the tv for about 2 weeks.

[Petit Prince]

Wow what's with the ridiculously incorrect statements

 

We lost to the better team, that doesn't make us a laughing stock, I said before the game "Sunderland are a good team this season, we'll probably lose" it's not as if we are amazing and they are terrible, they are good and we are going through a really bad patch with off-field issues and a terrible tactician in control at the moment

 

---------

 

I meant at the moment, I realise the majority of Newcastle fans are complete morons and have shown us up this season, I was actually ashamed to be at the games leading up to the announcement from Mike Ashley, it was just horrible to watch misinformed masses attacking a man who has done nothing wrong because a man who was here when we were once amazing doesn't like him.

 

All that means is your brother is biased, they had a better team out than us, we had Shola Ameobi up front with an Oba Martins who has just returned from injury and had very little supply from Geremi (aka the worst player at our club), they had a proven scorer in the French league supported by Malbranque and Diouf (who although I can't stand is a good player) both of whom are experienced and dangerous wingers.

 

We were never going to win with the team we had out, but it's a team we were forced into playing, thanks to injuries.

 

Kinnear is also partly to blame, he was too blind to see that Ameobi is not a good player and that Jonas and Barton really should have been on the pitch for a lot longer, Barton played the last 5 mins, what impact can he possibly have then?

 

Sam Allardyce is the single worst appointment the club as ever had, followed by another terrible appointment Kevin Keegan (if you want me to argue about that I have a lot more to say on the matter)

 

So yes I guess we have "shot ourselves in the foot"

 

But we made good investments in the Summer window and our squad was looking like it could at least cope as we were playing well, Keegan spat his dummy out and fucked the whole thing up for us, leaving is in the mess we are in at the moment

 

Spurs thought they were better than they were, sold their best players, bought worse ones for more money and have struggled, I've never liked Spurs and that tactic in the window was terrible and it is actually ridiculous, they have more attention than us for being poor at the moment, so currently yes, they are the laughing stock.

 

Why do you think that Ashley is doing the club any good. If he doesn't give the coach any freedom, eg sells players behind his back, no one will want the job. So I kinda understand where their fans are coming from.

 

I wonder whether Barton was meant to come on earlier. They said there were some problems with the Sunderland crowd when he was warming up and the securities had to step in apparently.

[Bonus_mosher]

it's because he's a fucking scumbag who shouldn't be allowed to play.

 

I don't want to hear his excuses. that man is a downright disgrace.

none of this second chance bullshit, he's on about his 8th chance.

 

Nasri snapping him made my day.

[Starlight]

A friend just sent me this. I thought it was kinda funny.

 

 

 

 

That made my day (as well as Coldplay)! :laugh3:

[mc_squared]

it's because he's a fucking scumbag who shouldn't be allowed to play.

 

I don't want to hear his excuses. that man is a downright disgrace.

none of this second chance bullshit, he's on about his 8th chance.

 

I completely agree. ;)

[busybeeburns]

Redknapp Replaces Ramos At Spurs

 

Juande Ramos is making room for Harry Redknapp at White Hart Lane

 

Tottenham Hotspur have hired Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp as their new manager after firing Juande Ramos.

 

Ramos had led Spurs to their worst ever start to a season and had acknowledged that his job was under threat.

 

Tottenham sporting director Damien Comolli and first-team coaches Gus Poyet and Marcos Alvarez have also left their positions.

 

Redknapp, who last season led Pompey to the FACup, said the south coast club would receive £5m from Spurs for his services - it's not clear what the new manager will get.

 

The 61-year-old, speaking to Sky Sports News in the early hours, said: "It's going to be done tonight, it will all be sorted out and by tomorrow morning I should be in place."

 

He added: "It's a great opportunity for me. It's a big club, Tottenham.

 

"I love Portsmouth and I loved my time there, we had some fantastic success and I'd never been happier.

 

"But it's a great deal for Portsmouth and it's a chance for me to get on and see what I can do."

 

Of the fee being paid to Pompey, he said:"I think the club in all honesty needed the money - things are tight."

 

Talking about the uphill task facing him at Spurs, Redknapp said: "They have a decent squad on paper, although it's not a well-balanced squad, it's a squad with good ability, very skilful players - but maybe a bit of a soft centre.

 

"We need a little bit more strength and aggression about the team if we're going to survive. You don't pick up two points (so far this season) if you're that good.

 

"They've been on an horrendous run of games and we've got to get cracking and turn it around as quick as we can."

 

Development squad coach Clive Allen and youth team manager Alex Inglethorpe will take charge of the Spurs squad for today's Premier League clash with Bolton at White Hart Lane.

 

Spurs fired Ramos exactly a year after Martin Jol was dumped.

 

Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy was not satisfied with Jol's top-five finishes, wanting the club to clinch a lucrative Champions League berth by breaking into the top four.

 

He believed Ramos, who had back-to-back UEFA Cup triumphs with Sevilla, could take Spurs to the next level.

 

It took the Spaniard just four months to win the League Cup in February - Tottenham's first trophy since 1999 - but that triumph did not provide the launchpad to a glorious new era that fans longed for.

 

After Ramos masterminded that victory over Chelsea at Wembley, Spurs won just three Premier League matches - and not one this season.

 

Sporting director Comolli has been blamed for his poor command of Tottenham's transfer activity. The club has sold highly-rated strikers Robbie Keane, Dimitar Berbatov and Jermain Defoe, who is now at Portsmouth.

 

Pompey begin life after Redknapp with a match against Fulham at Fratton Park this afternoon.

 

Their departing manager confirmed first-team coach Joe Jordan and Tony Adams, the assistant manager, would be in charge for the clash after a debrief.

 

Redknapp also revealed that he does not expect either of the duo to follow him to White Hart Lane - particularly, in Adams' case, due to his links to north London rivals Arsenal, for whom he was a title-winning captain.

 

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Tottenham-Hotspur-Hire-Harry-Redknapp-As-Manager-After-Firing-Juande-Ramos/Article/200810415128717?lpos=UK_News_Carousel_Region_2&lid=ARTICLE_15128717_Tottenham_Hotspur_Hire_Harry_Redknapp_As_Manager_After_Firing_Juande_Ramos

[mc_squared]

^I expect all the Spurs fans will start emerging from the woodwork now........................ :rolleyes:

[busybeeburns]

Horse suffers burns as fans clash

 

Fans clashed again at the end of the match which Sunderland won 2-1

 

A police horse suffered burns after being struck by a firework during violent clashes between rival football fans, which saw 29 arrests by police.

 

The horse was injured after being hit before the match between Sunderland and Newcastle. A police officer suffered a broken wrist separating rival fans.

 

Newcastle midfielder Joey Barton had missiles thrown at him and fans invaded the pitch during and after the match.

 

Police are studying CCTV footage to try to identify troublemakers.

 

Ch Supt Neil Mackay, head of Northumbria Police's Operations Unit, said: "The vast majority of fans behaved well.

 

"Twenty-nine arrests out of a capacity crowd is still low and I would like to thank all the stewards involved for their assistance."

 

Many of those arrested were held for going on to the pitch at Sunderland's Stadium of Light.

 

Some fans ran on to the playing surface during the game with Newcastle goalkeeper Shay Given being subject to verbal abuse.

 

Meanwhile, missiles were thrown from the crowd at Joey Barton as he warmed-up on the touchline. Police asked him to continue his exercises in the technical area to prevent further trouble.

 

At the end of the game a large group of fans raced from the stands and more fighting broke out.

 

Ch Supt Mackay said: "There will be a post-match inquiry to identify and arrest those who committed offences and I would particularly appeal for the public to identify the people responsible for throwing fireworks.

 

"It is difficult to comprehend the mentality of this. It is only through good fortune that the rider and horse and those nearby did not suffer serious injury."

 

The female rider of the horse was saved from injury by her helmet, a police spokesperson added.

 

The match ended in a 2-1 victory for Sunderland, their first victory over Newcastle at the Stadium of Light.

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7691447.stm

[Texasluvsjonny]

:( :( :( :( :( :(

 

:bigcry:

 

if rumours are true

Once a judus cunt, always a judus cunt. Now where did the skates put those judus cunt badges?

 

Just last week those evil Spuds supporters where the scum of the Earth for their evil Sol comments....now they are the bestest fans ever! :laugh3:

 

Word is Fat Sam is coming to pompey to fill the bung slot. :laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

 

And 'Arry to be awarded the Freedom of the City of Portsmouth on Tuesday. :lol:

 

I R AMUSED! :laugh3:

[HorrificAttack]

Why do you think that Ashley is doing the club any good. If he doesn't give the coach any freedom, eg sells players behind his back, no one will want the job. So I kinda understand where their fans are coming from.

 

I wonder whether Barton was meant to come on earlier. They said there were some problems with the Sunderland crowd when he was warming up and the securities had to step in apparently.

 

Ashley didn't sell anyone behind anybody's back.

 

Barton got coins thrown at him so he jokingly went to shake the supporters hand who threw the coin at him.

 

I hated him when he first joined the club, but he has proved to me that he can change and I will stand by him because I believe he can be a great player for the club, ever since Keegan took over he has been a changed man, trust me it took me a while to accept that he was changed, but he is and he is going to prove everybody wrong by just shutting up and getting on with playing football

 

Nasri is a little cunt for doing that, having a go at Barton and then condoning that kind of behaviour is Grade A hypocrisy. Especially when people are throwing coins at him too, you think that is acceptable?

[busybeeburns]

Maybe Nasri was after a slap, or even worse a punch. Barton wouldn't rise to anything like that though :smug:

[HorrificAttack]

He actually wouldn't. Barton isn't an idiot, you can tell that if you listen to his interviews, he had problems with being drunk and disorderly, he's been sober for 9 months now and his attitude is excellent, I am going to keep defending him.