|~|The OFFICIAL Coldplay FanFic Thread 2: DISCUSSION|~|

[MartinFan]

The promised land... I just read it, couldn't stop, it was excellent as always Dianna.

 

Sort of Homecoming: Wow, good story, love the troubled dark Guy!!!

[coldplayisawesome]

Lights, Camera, Action: whewwww, that Chrissy is making some dough!

i wish i had 2.1 million dollars :sad: (but i'm not doing porn :shifty:)

Sort of Homecoming: that John is a bit of a jerk :whip:

[geekchic]

A Sort of Homecoming: Is Will going to find out?? This is great!

Lights, Camera, Action: 2.1 million?! whoa!

[Keddie]

I'm so sorry for my lack of comments everyone :(

 

Cemeteries of London: Wow....I can't get over how amazing this story was. So many things combined to make it great. Sure, it was sad, but that seemed to fit along well with the story too. And the ending was absolutely lovely, I was far from disappointed :)

Prison Blues: Yay for happy endings!:awesome:

Peaches:Ooohhh...amnesia. This is going to be interesting for sure. Aww, and I love Will calling her peaches:blush:

Stonehenge: Haha this story is great. Confrontation jacket....that made me laugh:laugh3:

Lights, Camera, Action: You know how much I love this one :wink3:. But seriously though, if you really pay attention to it, it's so much more than just a story about porn :heart:

A Vase, A Friendship: Brooke your short stories are always so great. And I love how this was about Will. It was a unique take on his personality, I loved it.

A Sort of Homecoming: I still have more to read of this story, but from what I've read so far, I think it's amazing. The idea is really unique, and I'm eager to see how you'll develop it.

[coldplayisawesome]

A Sort of Homecoming: awwww, happy endings are the best :wacky:

and that last line :wink3:

Lights, Camera, Action: oh man... that's all i can say for now :P i'm expecting you to write more tonight, especially if you want that voodoo curse done... :shifty:

[coldplayisawesome]

Lights, Camera, Action: i have, like, the biggest grin on my face right now. that was so cute :blush::wacky:

[Viva_La_Coldplay]

I just want to say that Lost or Incomplete is awesome. I'm very excited about it. :dance:

 

And I'm really, really, REALLY sorry for my slackness in reviewing lately. Promise I'll post a massive one soon! :heart:

[Finny]

Destrokk, your little comic, "Will, you're always wrong," was utterly adorable. It made me grin very, very widely.

 

And LoverInJapan, m'dear (I probably shouldn't even call you that, as I've never said--well, typed, technically--a word to you, but whatever.), I read the first chapter of Cemeteries of London. I liked the sort of dreamy atmosphere, especially in the beginning. Really nice prose. Some of the dialogue felt sort of stilted to me, though, so you might want to work on that. I also feel as though you probably should have mentioned he had a BFF when you were describing his childhood, just because that kind of came out of nowhere for me. But about said descriptions of his childhood: PERFECT! Very beautiful, I thought. Chasing dogs! And Guy totally does have big pouty eyes. I think they're terribly pretty ones. Also, for me it wasn't quite clear what happened to his mother. I think she died, but it was sort of confusing and not very clear. So my next sentence is going to have spoilers for The Great Gatsby, so I'm putting it under the spoiler tag. Like major spoilers.

 

 

Kind of like in The Great Gatsby (I'm gonna put this next bit in the so where I completely did not realize Gatsby died until a few pages after it happened.

 

 

I guess it should be flattering to be compared to F. Scott Fitzgerald, but in this case it's really not.

 

So to sum things up:

Prose=beautiful

Dialogue=a bit unnatural

Plot=Slightly confusing, but overall interesting enough to keep me reading

 

Also this is some sort of AU, correct? Historical? I can't quite pinpoint when. Is it some time during the English Civil War? I'm trying to look back on my European History class and I'm sort of remembering something that had to do with religion and Scotland during that time period, but it's fuzzy. I was more interested in the French Revolution, myself. SOMEONE SHOULD TOTALLY WRITE A FRENCH REV AU! THAT WOULD BE EPIC! *ahem* But do explain the exact time period for me, if you please.

 

Hopefully I'll get more read soon, though I may get distracted as I have all manner of Harry Potter fanfiction opened in various tabs.

[Finny]

Okay. So you confirmed my suspicions about the time period in this chapter. Good. But. This is a very big but. You have a major, major, most painfully glaring anachronism. Guy has a photograph of his mother. Silly, photographs didn't exist back then! So I'd correct that. Maybe replace it with something special that belonged to his mother? Because I doubt someone as poor as your Guy would have enough money for a portrait, and that'd be very clunky to drag around.

 

Anyways, the prose is still quite good, and I think the dialogue is better from last chapter. I do have to say, that I don't understand why Emily was really necessary. That just created drama for me that ended up fizzling out as the chapter ended. It was too melodramatic for my tastes, what with her claiming she'd make like Romeo and Juliet and kill herself if she couldn't have Guy.

 

So I adored your description of the streets right when Guy and Will--er William--left the tavern to go find Jonathan. I found that really nice.

 

I'm curious, do you plan on making this story gen or are you looking to have any romance in it? I just want to know. I don't really care what you do, whether it's Guy/The King (That'd be pretty wild) or Guy/Some OC or Guy/one of the other guys. Maybe you want it to be a surprise? In which case don't tell me.

 

EDIT: Forgot to mention I loved the little bits of humor you added.

EDIT NUMBER TWO: I totally forgot what I meant to be the central point of this review. *headdesk* Anywhoo, I like how you're characterizing Guy. Quiet, unassuming, but with a definite fire to him that is brilliant. So keep up the good work!

[Finny]

So I didn't really like your first OC (Was I even meant to?), but I do like Dianna, quite a bit. She seems really interesting. It almost felt a bit too simple, Guy getting food AND a job in one fell swoop, but whatever. I liked how she was a bit mysterious and I loved her line "It's not taking if I give it to you" (paraphrased).

 

Another thing I liked was the first sentence, "As eerie as the city was during the night, when the sun shyly appeared through the branches of the tall, dark green trees, London was a new place." I thought that was really a nice image, especially how the sun was shy.

 

My favorite bit of this chapter was Chris. Christopher. Whatever you're calling him. It feels more natural to say Chris, but Christopher is technically his name in this fic (Well it's technically his name in real life too, but you know what I mean.). Anyways I really enjoyed the little ways you characterized him. How he was smiling, how he just talked and talked. It was just really quite endearing.

 

And I also think I found the answer to my last question, concerning what your plans are in terms of relationships, while reading some earlier comments on the story in this thread. So this Dianna (Who is apparently based off another person here? Is this in name only or in personality or what? Gotta have a question each comment and this is my question now.) will be with Guy? That sounds promising as I did like her and unless her personality takes a sudden turn for the worse I imagine I'll continue to like her.

[coldplayisawesome]

hello new Finny person :wacko:

not sure if you know this or not, but either way- i am Brooke :nice:

 

i am going to take a moment to review your reviews :P

they are very detailed. i like it. :wideeyed:

[Finny]

Ooh! I liked Guy insulting William. That was great, comparing him to King Charles.

 

And this line: "Guy decided what his side was a long time ago. Scotland was aware of everything that had been happening in the South of Britain. Therefore, he knew he wanted no King to rule with austerity and arrogance, forgetting other opinions and, most of all, the division of powers."

 

What a perfect way to end the chapter. Prose is still good and I like the dialogue as well, which is good for you. I really don't have as much to say about this chapter as I did previous ones, but I assure you, I liked it.

[Finny]

hello new Finny person :wacko:

not sure if you know this or not, but either way- i am Brooke :nice:

 

i am going to take a moment to review your reviews :P

they are very detailed. i like it. :wideeyed:

 

Hi! *waves* I'm Finny, of course. Though if you're looking for my real name, that's Betsy. I actually really like writing reviews and try to be as helpful as possible. I mean, it's the best gift I can give to someone who has already given me an even better gift of a story. Fanfiction writers recieve nothing but reviews, after all. I write some fic myself, in mostly in Harry Potter fandom (I haven't the guts to write RPF in the same way I don't have the guts to write smut. But I do read a bit of both, obviously.), so I can definitely understand both the frustration in not getting any reviews and the complete joy you get when you're given a good one (even if it has some criticism, which is only better because the person cared enough to want to help you improve). So yeah. I do honestly do my best to give detailed reviews and often find myself apologizing profusely when I can't think of anything to say.

[coldplayisawesome]

Hi! *waves* I'm Finny, of course. Though if you're looking for my real name, that's Betsy. I actually really like writing reviews and try to be as helpful as possible. I mean, it's the best gift I can give to someone who has already given me an even better gift of a story. Fanfiction writers recieve nothing but reviews, after all. I write some fic myself, in mostly in Harry Potter fandom (I haven't the guts to write RPF in the same way I don't have the guts to write smut. But I do read a bit of both, obviously.), so I can definitely understand both the frustration in not getting any reviews and the complete joy you get when you're given a good one (even if it has some criticism, which is only better because the person cared enough to want to help you improve). So yeah. I do honestly do my best to give detailed reviews and often find myself apologizing profusely when I can't think of anything to say.

 

i think it is wonderful when people can give reviews like yours. as odd as this will sound coming from someone who writes quite a bit, i'm not so good with words. :P so, my reviews are always very lacking in substance, and i do feel bad about that.

 

do you prefer to be called Finny or Betsy? :wacko:

[Finny]

Either one works. Whatever you prefer.

 

I think reviews can be tough, especially when a story is so good it leaves you speechless. In the end, though, I have the most trouble with my fics. I very rarely write long fics. My longest is around 2,500 words. I definitely average less than 1,000 words per fic. I just don't have what it takes to write long stuff. I'm taking Creative Writing next year in school and I'm very nervous about it because I don't have a lot of confidence in my writing.

 

And I noticed you're my age on your profile, which is cool. Curious, will you be a senior or will you be going to college this year? I have a friend who's right in between us and a friend a day younger than I am who will be starting college, but I'm not since I failed my kindergarten screenings (I refused to sit in the chair when they asked me too and I wouldn't build the blocks the way they wanted. I was just an independent child!). Of course if I'm prying you don't have to tell me. :confused: (These smilies are really fun.)

[Viva_La_Coldplay]

Hello Finny!

 

I'm April, and you my friend write the most incredibly detailed reviews in history. I'm not even kidding. :dance:

[jknc]

Hello there Finny/Betsy

I am Dianna.

I would just love for you to visit my blog and review a couple of my stories.

It would make me soooo happy for you to tell me everything that is wrong with them.

 

And yes, I am the Dianna that the character in Cemeteries of London is based on. And I am very proud to be associated with that story.

[MartinFan]

Welcome Finny!!!

Dianna, L,C,A...... great ending!!! :Loved it as always!!!

 

Brooke, Lost or Incomplete.... more writing:whip::P tis good!!!!

[Finny]

Hello there Finny/Betsy

I am Dianna.

I would just love for you to visit my blog and review a couple of my stories.

It would make me soooo happy for you to tell me everything that is wrong with them.

 

And yes, I am the Dianna that the character in Cemeteries of London is based on. And I am very proud to be associated with that story.

 

Is there anything in particular you'd like me to read? Because if you give me the links I probably can. Hit me with your best story.

 

EDIT: Or your worst, if you really want me to try and help you improve upon that. I probably won't enjoy the experience as much, but it might be more helpful to you.

[coldplayisawesome]

Either one works. Whatever you prefer.

 

I think reviews can be tough, especially when a story is so good it leaves you speechless. In the end, though, I have the most trouble with my fics. I very rarely write long fics. My longest is around 2,500 words. I definitely average less than 1,000 words per fic. I just don't have what it takes to write long stuff. I'm taking Creative Writing next year in school and I'm very nervous about it because I don't have a lot of confidence in my writing.

 

And I noticed you're my age on your profile, which is cool. Curious, will you be a senior or will you be going to college this year? I have a friend who's right in between us and a friend a day younger than I am who will be starting college, but I'm not since I failed my kindergarten screenings (I refused to sit in the chair when they asked me too and I wouldn't build the blocks the way they wanted. I was just an independent child!). Of course if I'm prying you don't have to tell me. :confused: (These smilies are really fun.)

 

i will call you Finny, then, since it will be much easier to remember. :P

 

well, as far as i'm concerned, sometimes shorter stories are better. :shrug: if you would like to send me some of your HP fics, i would be glad to read them, though i can't promise a satisfying review. :P:D

 

i'm going to be starting college... a week from tomorrow, actually. :surprised:

and yes, smilies are da bomb :awesome:

[jknc]

Is there anything in particular you'd like me to read? Because if you give me the links I probably can. Hit me with your best story.

 

EDIT: Or your worst, if you really want me to try and help you improve upon that. I probably won't enjoy the experience as much, but it might be more helpful to you.

 

 

Well best is really relative. I have favorites. I have ones I don't like so much. I have more than 220+ stories.

The links to both blogs are in blue in the bottom of this post.

If you have time you can just browse through a few.

Except for the G/F ones. You can stay away from those.

[jknc]

Tracey---Thanks for reading that wild story.

I look forward to another story from you soon.

[Finny]

i will call you Finny, then, since it will be much easier to remember. :P

 

well, as far as i'm concerned, sometimes shorter stories are better. :shrug: if you would like to send me some of your HP fics, i would be glad to read them, though i can't promise a satisfying review. :P:D

 

i'm going to be starting college... a week from tomorrow, actually. :surprised:

and yes, smilies are da bomb :awesome:

 

Well here is my latest story if you want to read. It's actually poetry, in which I break all the rules.

 

Now about Cemeteries of London.

 

"And the scariest thing was that it was a perpetual emotion. It wouldn’t go away like the snow in January or the cold wind in November."

 

That was a really beautiful couple of sentences, with some lovely metaphor. And this is why I love historical slash. Because everything is so much angstier back then (unless we're talking ancient civilization in which case ALEXANDER/HEPHAESTION IS CANON! *ahem*), what with it being much more taboo than it is today. I’m a bit of a whore for angst, especially the “Oh my God, I’m gay for my best friend! Wait a second. The term gay doesn’t even exist in that form yet.” type.

 

Another lovely line: “He wanted nothing more than to be the person Christopher thought of first to tell a secret.” I really like that. It’s much better than saying something like, oh I don’t know “He wanted Christopher so bad because he was such a handsome chap.” or something like that. What you did was much more intimate, more touching.

 

I also loved how Dianna was totally in denial about Guy. Tut. Tut. So like

(The Disney movie, not the actual myth.). I didn’t like how she had spidey senses and could detect that Jonathan was pining over Christopher in particular. I would much prefer her to notice the pining and not know who it’s about. Or that she was all like “Hey, man! Just tell him! He loves you too.” That’s probably the angst lover in me that goes for angsty, illicit relationships.

 

Development was a bit of an issue in this chapter. I feel like there should have been a chapter in between this and that last where Dianna got to know Christopher and Jonathan and Guy better because I doubt she would have been able to really detect Jonathan’s feelings without knowing him sort of well (which you implied was the case but did not show).

 

Now my biggest complaint applies to all the stories and that is that this whole forum thing is really not a convenient way to read fic. We definitely need some sort of fic archive. I mean, there are tons of them for Harry Potter, so why not Coldplay? Granted it's a much smaller fandom, but it would be awesome to have an archive. Or at least you guys could try and post your fics on AO3, which, if you're uninformed, is a very awesome archive with an excellent tagging system, PLUS it allows RPF, unlike fanfiction.net, which would be essential for Coldplay fic. So yeah. I love AO3. You guys should really prance on over there and join the fun. There might not be a large audience for you fic there, but I think it'd be nice in that your fic would be easier to read.

 

And guys! Thanks for your warm welcome and kind words concerning my reviews. It’s good to know that what I say is helpful.

 

Oh and Dianna, can you clue me in on what G/F means? I feel like I should know, but I don't.

[jknc]

^ Don't worry about what G/F means. On my blog there are lots of categories and one of them was G/F. You could skip over those stories since they run in a sequence.

[Miss Lestrade]

I was drawn here because someone mentioned "Fic archive". Hahahahaha...fic archive.

 

We've tried to do that before, and it...well...fell through. And now there are so many unarchived fics. It's going to be hell trying to get them all together. Anyway, hi, Finny. I'm Kyra, aka the person who wrote all the angst fics ages ago! Nice to meet you. Maybe we should just use fanfic.net. We could make a community.