On Sexuality, is it the person's choice or are you born that way?

[ivet]

I have to agree with Imke, I also don't believe that you turn gay because of how you're raised. That's also suggesting that if you were raised by gay parents you're also going to be gay.

[lndnsky]

In my country we have a strange high school system so I went to high school to become a nurse. And one of the psychiatrist who was my professor told us that homosexualty is an illness, a mental disfuncion which made me sooo angry.

I think people are born that way, you can't choose it, like you can't choose if you'll be born as a boy or a girl.

Few days ago on a lecture at uni we had a discussion about if its ok for homosexual people to adopt children and 70% of people said they are ok with it. It would be better if it was 100% but not all people are smart enough to realize that its imoprtant to a child to have two parents that love them no matter what sex they are!

Basically its what Imke and xxKels said.

[djibou]

I have to agree with Imke, I also don't believe that you turn gay because of how you're raised. That's also suggesting that if you were raised by gay parents you're also going to be gay.

 

No, of course not, it is not determined on how you were raised. But I do think that an event in your early life can influence it. Like if a girl is raped by a man when she was little, she might unconsciously stop being attracted to men and turn to women.

[Prince Myshkin]

No, of course not, it is not determined on how you were raised. But I do think that an event in your early life can influence it. Like if a girl is raped by a man when she was little, she might unconsciously stop being attracted to men and turn to women.

 

I disagree.

 

I could half understand a person finding it hard to come to terms with attraction for the gender of a person who raped you and therefore becoming unable to move past it and therefore sexually repressed, but then to simply 'go for the other sex' doesn't add up. It's not a case of simply switching your desires.

[Megalomania]

Some people are just really narrow minded and say things that they don't realize is really hurtful, someone told me quite recently they thought it would be wrong if I had children because having 2 mothers wouldn't be good for the child growing up.Having 2 people that care for and really love that child is better than it being unwanted surely? but no they disagreed and were completly stubborn and ignorant.

 

That's such bs. . . Would they rather have a baby be left in a cardboard box in an alleyway? :sick:

 

 

And when I say that I think homosexuality is something you're born with but that some people choose to be that way, I just want to clarify some things:

1. Some means VERY VERY few

2. They most likely do it for attention or because it's cool (obviously depending on where you live, some places are very accepting and others are very narrow minded)

3. This

No, of course not, it is not determined on how you were raised. But I do think that an event in your early life can influence it. Like if a girl is raped by a man when she was little, she might unconsciously stop being attracted to men and turn to women.

[Imke]

No, of course not, it is not determined on how you were raised. But I do think that an event in your early life can influence it. Like if a girl is raped by a man when she was little, she might unconsciously stop being attracted to men and turn to women.

 

I don't think that being raped as a child or at any age can make you turn to women though. I know what you mean, but I rather think it makes you stay away from men, but not neccessarily move towards women.

[djibou]

Bah, I'm no psychologist, but I have heard of women who they say it happened to, without any official source to base myself on.

[Prince Myshkin]

Bah, I'm no psychologist, but I have heard of women who they say it happened to, without any official source to base myself on.

 

I presume that they already had the necessary interest subconsciously to be attracted to women in the first place and the rape did not affect this.

 

(I edited my post above by the way, but I said pretty much what Imke said)

[djibou]

^Yes, that could be. Sure didn't help attraction towards men though.

[Imke]

In my country we have a strange high school system so I went to high school to become a nurse. And one of the psychiatrist who was my professor told us that homosexualty is an illness, a mental disfuncion which made me sooo angry.

I think people are born that way, you can't choose it, like you can't choose if you'll be born as a boy or a girl.

Few days ago on a lecture at uni we had a discussion about if its ok for homosexual people to adopt children and 70% of people said they are ok with it. It would be better if it was 100% but not all people are smart enough to realize that its imoprtant to a child to have two parents that love them no matter what sex they are!

Basically its what Imke and xxKels said.

 

Yes, that's what my friend told me too: It's an illness, something went wrong in the childhood and it must be a psychological trauma or something. I don't like to think of homo- or bisexuality as something that could be cured or must be cured, because I simply don't think there's anything wrong with being attracted to the same gender.

[Reilly]

You would have to be a little bit silly to say it's purely one and not the other, you can't rule out completely that nature or choice has some influence on a persons sexuality.

 

Some people are 100% straight or gay, and don't necessarily have to think much about their decision, but this isn't the case for everyone. Some people feel some attraction to their own sex and then make a conscious decision about whether they want to act on that feeling, if they don't, it's not necessarily repressing their 'true' sexuality because sexuality isn't a fixed thing for any human being. Someone who is definitely attracted to their own sex but can't admit it to people around them and often to themselves, that's a different thing.

 

Certain people don't have the choice, but I would think that most people do.

 

As for the rape thing, I do indeed think a woman can choose to be attracted to other women as long as there was initially some form of attraction, even just to like looking at pretty women (As you'll notice on this forum especially, lots of girls have no problem doing that but don't necessarily want to kiss these women). I know a girl who had a bad relationship, when it was over she said she wanted to try girls, and she's been in a lesbian relationship for around 2 years now.

 

She had never kissed a girl and at first we thought "You can't just click your fingers and become a lesbian" but she said although she preferred guys she's always appreciated good looking women, so even though it took months she finally found a girl she was attracted to and started from there.

 

This may piss off some homosexual people, but I do think to an extent for a lot of people, that liking a gender is a bit like enjoying a fetish, you can pursue your attraction towards it or simply stick with how you felt you were as you grew up (In nearly every persons case this would be heterosexuality).

[djibou]

A fetish? Really? I'm not pissed off, but I tend to disagree :\

I am in a relationship with a girl, and yes, her body attracts me and sex with her is definitely something I want, but this is not the first reason why I fell for her, I fell for her personality, the way she expresses herself, her charm, etc. first before wanting anything sexual with her.

 

It might not be that way for everyone, but it happened that way for every girl I liked (she's the first one who I feel love towards).

[ImLovingGuyBerryman]

No, you don't choose to be gay. If you're not attracted to the opposite gender, you're not attracted to the opposite gender, simple as that. I think this is a very poor and disrespectful way to think of homosexuals, because it implies that they are simply too "lazy" to be straight.

 

I also don't really think that you become gay due to your upbringing or your experiences in life. I've had quite a big discussion with a former friend about this, the gist of her argumentation was that something obviously went wrong in the childhood of homosexuals. I don't really like that way of thinking either, because I think that your sexuality is indeed something you're born with and which you can't just change or choose.

 

 

 

Thank you, that sums the "issue" up for me.

 

I have to agree with Imke, I also don't believe that you turn gay because of how you're raised. That's also suggesting that if you were raised by gay parents you're also going to be gay.

 

The opinion I stated earlier about believing that experiences can cause people to become homosexual wasn't suggesting that the experience(s) that caused it were bad. Like the whole "something went wrong in their childhood" statement I don't think applies to all the people who would fall under this situation. My thinking is that ANY type of experience, good or bad or in between can cause people to become homosexual. It would just depend completely on the person and their life. And in no way was I suggesting that being brought up by gay parents means that you're going to be gay. On the issue of "how you were raised," I do think that can cause someone to become homosexual, although I do find it less likely than life experiences causing the change, but I'm not saying it would be because your parents encouraged any specific type of sexual preference in their children. I think it would be based on a complex variety of influences from how you were raised.

Just wanted to clear that up incase you two thought I was suggesting what you said.

[Imke]

^ Oh no, no, Lauren, I wasn't thinking that you said or meant that.

And I agree mostly, but I just think that you don't feel attracted to the same gender, if you don't already have that "tendency" (I really lack a better word in English here) from birth onwards.

[a_face_of_light]

^ What she says.

Really, I don't see the problem in having homosexual couples adopting children.

 

And Ivet, I'm sorry that you have to deal with such ignorant people :(

 

I think adopting a child is a really selfless wonderful thing to do, no matter what the adoptive parents sexual orientation, when the time comes for me to have a family though I still want to be the childs biological mother.

[Prince Myshkin]

I was thinking today whilst at work, if gay people did choose to be gay (which they don't) then why would that be a problem? I can't see any reasons myself. I see no negative social impact that comes from a person being gay other than homophobic people around them, whether this is found through ignorance or religion (the latter incorporated into the former with regards to homophobia).

[Megalomania]

I was thinking today whilst at work, if gay people did choose to be gay (which they don't) then why would that be a problem? I can't see any reasons myself. I see no negative social impact that comes from a person being gay other than homophobic people around them, whether this is found through ignorance or religion (the latter incorporated into the former with regards to homophobia).

 

I completely agree. . . I think that the "problem" stems from religion, as it's in the bible that marraige should be a man and a woman. . . :\

[illuvcoldplay]

I was thinking today whilst at work, if gay people did choose to be gay (which they don't) then why would that be a problem? I can't see any reasons myself. I see no negative social impact that comes from a person being gay other than homophobic people around them, whether this is found through ignorance or religion (the latter incorporated into the former with regards to homophobia).

 

very well said

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wyrd;4545110

^ What she says.

Really, I don't see the problem in having homosexual couples adopting children.

 

And Ivet, I'm sorry that you have to deal with such ignorant people :(

 

 

 

I really don't understand this either because your sexuality has nothing to do with parenting, unless a person was exposing their kids to an unsafe environment by having multiple partners coming into the home and thats not the issue at hand. I happen to know from my 6 years experience of being a teacher that there are lots of straight parents who are horrible at parenting. People need to stop being so backward. There are so many children out there who need families and if decent couples are willing to adopt whether they be gay straight or curved then I don't see what the fucking problem is :thinking:

[Prince Myshkin]

Do the people who say gay people shouldn't adopt because the children need a male and female role model in their lives also suggest that single parent widows should have their children taken off them too?

[Megalomania]

Do the people who say gay people shouldn't adopt because the children need a male and female role model in their lives also suggest that single parent widows should have their children taken off them too?

 

Haha, that's such bullshit when people say that.

 

Who cares if the parents are homosexual or heterosexual, so long as they can provide the child with a safe, loving environment?

[Prince Myshkin]

Who cares if the parents are homosexual or heterosexual, so long as they can provide the child with a safe, loving environment?

 

Homophobes and the ignorant care, as far as I can tell. Fortunately it appears the numbers are dwindling but it will be a long time, possibly never until it's got.

[MichMoch]

I think it's the way and the envirenment you've grown up in (like if your father is very strict and your mother is too good you compare yourself to her or the opposite)

But I don't really think that you're born like that.:thinking:

[Prince Myshkin]

I think it's the way and the envirenment you've grown up in (like if your father is very strict and your mother is too good you compare yourself to her or the opposite)

But I don't really think that you're born like that.:thinking:

 

I don't understand what that has to do with sexuality. More which parent you are closer to.

[Petit Prince]

Do the people who say gay people shouldn't adopt because the children need a male and female role model in their lives also suggest that single parent widows should have their children taken off them too?

 

I'm sure some people would argue that it is bad for a child to grow up with a single parent but they probably wouldn't be cruel enough to take their children off them. I don't agree with them btw

[Prince Myshkin]

I'm sure some people would argue that it is bad for a child to grow up with a single parent but they probably wouldn't be cruel enough to take their children off them. I don't agree with them btw

 

That makes it sound like you would be cruel enough to take their children off them :lol: