I'm glad I'm not a girl

[Cobalt]

I would probably rage a bit if that thread was made, actually.

[Prince Myshkin]

Me too I guess.

Is there a "I'm glad I'm not a boy" thread though?

 

For fuck sake. Now you're going to make me write another fucking essay, this time about why that is such a stupid idea? AT CHRISTMAS!? I barely have the time.

 

I'm just irritated that from this entire thread, this is what you took from it. Sexism against men does exist, and this thread can be welcome to all forms of sexism, but if that is all you are taking away from this topic then I pity you greatly. I urge you to read this thread in its entirety and then make that thread if you really want to.

 

Get some fucking perspective.

[Destrokk]

he was beautiful when he was young though, yes

and apart from that pic haha he aged nicely

 

sorry i'm ruining the intellectual value of this thread

 

SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING VERY HIGHBROW

 

i have seen how you edited this post since the beginning im in tears ahaha YOU FOOL

 

anyways yes coldplero you are stupid pendejo porfavor piensa en tu madre!

[Prince Myshkin]

Fuck me this is a bad start to my day. First that post, now I try and link him to a thread about why it's a stupid idea to only take that from the debate and in typing "sexism agai" into google, the top result is sexism against men, and the second is sexism against women.

 

 

FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKIIIIINNNNGGGGG HHHHEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

 

 

 

 

 

(and ageism against the elderly comes up before ageism against the youth, so it's not the fact that sexism against women is presumed over men, as ageism is presumed for those who are older)

[Destrokk]

Instead of you just typing your whole essay I'll just type my view of it and ya'll can add on.

 

okay

 

1. The world is your thread. Men have social issues, its true theres no denying it but the difference is that if you go to the police and report any disturbance or in any case something like rape, they will take you seriously. If I go to report I was raped they will first ask me if I was either drunk or wearing a short skirt. You can talk about your issues to anyone and no one will call you a Feminazi or a crazy bitch.

 

2. The whole point of this thread is that we're being looked down because we're women and while I wish for equal rights to both men and women you should be aware that you stand much higher than I do in society in what I can and can not do. Check your FuCKING privilege.

[Prince Myshkin]

http://www.upworthy.com/think-seeing-a-little-male-nudity-on-tv-is-too-explicit-then-its-time-to-hear-the-hard-truth

[Cyan Kat]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c62Aqdlzvqk]How Do YOU Define Yourself Lizzie Velasquez at TEDxAustinWomen - YouTube[/ame]

[fcam]

I've never posted in this thread, but there's something I've wanted to say that's always been in my head since I read the first post, so here it goes:

 

I think that society is quite sexist, a lot actually, but I like to be optimistic and think it's all changing. When I think about my grandmother (79), I kind of get a picture of the immensely patriarchal society she was raised in. Her mother -and herself too- was just a "lady" who "stayed pure" until she got married; and once she'd done that it was time to settle down and start "giving children to her husband". My great grandmother had 8 children, with a difference of just a year or two between them. Her only job was to do the cooking, raise the kids and and cleaning the house. My grandmother was raised in that society and she did change a bit, but still she was a bit shocked to find female mechanics, female drivers or even female businessmanagers. She had 7 children herself, and did the same as her mother. However, my mother had 2 children and she had her own job, still she did almost all the domestic work. Anyway, my point is that society has changed a whole lot when it comes to sexism and I think it must keep changing and it will keep changing.

 

From my point of view, patriarchy is quite installed in society and I can see it myself. For instance, there was a girl in my school who lost her virginity at the age of 14 and had had sexual intercourse with other three boys by the age of 17. People said she was a bitch and a slut, and I even heard people say that she was "the biggest slut in town". At first, I looked at her and thought wrong about her. Later on, I realised that the one that was wrong was me; she didn't even know me and if she had had sex it was her problem. She was no slut. When I happened to be around her she was just a normal girl, and wasn't acting like a slut. I'm glad I realised that, because it opened my eyes. I discovered I was unconsciously judging people because of a standard that is completely wrong. So once I'd noticed it I was able to start noticing other stuff.

 

Start noticing all this: I hate make-up, it makes pretty women look awful. I hate how some girls feel so discriminated for being a bit chubby. I hate how some people think that certain jobs can only be done by women/men. I hate how girls with a lot of sexual partners are called "sluts" and how boys are applauded if they do same. I hate how little girls cannot play games like football or rugby without being tagged as "butch"; or how little boys cannot play with dolls without being called "sissies". I hate how some people think that a woman can't fix a car's engine or do plumbing, or men can't cook or do the washing up (actually, people do not think that men can't do it; they suppose women are better than them by nature instead).

I hate all that, but I feel like it's changing. I am changing and I think all the people in this thread are, too. A lot has been changed and there's a lot yet to be changed, but I think it's possible. There are a lot of people who have been raised differently and we won't be able to change them; but we can make a difference anyway.

 

I think that society is quite harsh on women but I try not to contribute, and it helps. I'd never say "I'm glad I'm not a girl" (although I understand that was just the name of the thread to call your attention) so instead, when someone calls some certain girl a slut, I like thinking "I'm glad I'm not like you" and just try to make them see they're wrong.

 

I may be a super-optimistic dick claiming the moral high ground, but I can't be bothered.

[fcam]

there are still problematic things in your post re slut-shaming and agency but i'm a little tired to discuss it right now, i will return if someone doesn't explore it. let's just say feminist/misogynist is not a binary

 

otherwise ok i guess

 

I don't understand what you mean, can you explain it please?

 

and it seems like no one is going to explore it

[fcam]

"Later on, I realised that the one that was wrong was me; she didn't even know me and if she had had sex it was her problem. She was no slut. When I happened to be around her she was just a normal girl, and wasn't acting like a slut."

still implies sluttiness is a thing and a bad. i dont know whether that was worded badly or what

 

"Start noticing all this: I hate make-up, it makes pretty women look awful."

this also still places the worth on a woman's looks and how "pretty" she is. also implies women must look "pretty" all the time

 

sorry its super hot to be doing big posty

 

just because you identify with some of the ideas and try not to contribute to shittiness towards women does not mean you immediately are cleared from any subtle shittiness ingrained, i hope you are aware

 

Well I think that the slut mistake happened since I consider someone is a slut when they act hostile and unkind. That's my personal definition for it and it's wrong, I know. It will confuse a lot of people and offend many others. I hadn't noticed that, thanks!

 

And the pretty thing, I hadn't seen it that way. What I tried to say was that make up doesn't make women look any prettier, and if anything it makes them look uglier. Still, it implies that a women looks are important, and I know that might be offensive. In my opinion, a woman's looks are important, just as important as any man's; what I'm trying to say is that I don't care about what clothes someone wears or if they're wearing make up; I only care about if they have a pretty face when I'm looking for a girlfriend, but that's another story, because a pretty face might be ugly in the inside.

No one should ever feel forced to "be pretty", I think that sums it up kind of.

 

Ohh, yeah I know, it must be unbearable.

 

 

Absolutely, I'm aware of that. I'm trying to change, but there's still a lot to change. I can be offensive unconsciously very often, I just hope that the times I'm not offensive are less than the ones I am

 

 

Anyway, thanks for the post, I learned something

[Batman]

Just found this on tumblr (btw tumblr is a hotspot when it comes to woman's rights/sexism/feminism, some post are really inspiring!):

 

 

birchbone:

queensassyofthefatties

:

Lewis’s law

is an observation she made in 2012 that states “

the comments on any article about feminism justify feminism

.” Lewis has written frequently about misogynist hate directed at women online.[8]

Can we just repeat that a few more times,

“The comments on any article about feminism justify feminism.”

“The comments on any article about feminism justify feminism.”

bolded is important

(Source: pinkwithlace, via theconspicuousninja)

[fcam]

 

“The comments on any article about feminism justify feminism.”

 

Hahaha it's funny how they don't see that

[Prince Myshkin]

what I'm trying to say is that I don't care about what clothes someone wears or if they're wearing make up; I only care about if they have a pretty face when I'm looking for a girlfriend

 

[video=youtube;xPAat-T1uhE]

 

But I understand what you mean when you say you look for a pretty face in a relationship. It is something that you think about when you are picturing an ideal person, for almost everybody. To be honest though, there's a million things to fall for and everybody is pretty in their own way (I know that sounds incredibly cheesy but there's so many things you can spot in person that you can fall for, and once you get that connection with them, on a level above the physical, you tend to start admiring them in so many ways, including physically).

 

So don't miss out on getting close to people because of an obsession with physical appearance because that would be a great tragedy. I've been close to varying females and the three I've loved have been completely different.

[Prince Myshkin]

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/jan/24/powerpuff-girls-sexualised-comic-withdrawn

[fcam]

[video=youtube;xPAat-T1uhE]

 

But I understand what you mean when you say you look for a pretty face in a relationship. It is something that you think about when you are picturing an ideal person, for almost everybody. To be honest though, there's a million things to fall for and everybody is pretty in their own way (I know that sounds incredibly cheesy but there's so many things you can spot in person that you can fall for, and once you get that connection with them, on a level above the physical, you tend to start admiring them in so many ways, including physically).

 

So don't miss out on getting close to people because of an obsession with physical appearance because that would be a great tragedy. I've been close to varying females and the three I've loved have been completely different.

 

That's a very interesting video!

 

I totally understand what you mean. The looks aren't all. You don't fall in love with the looks, you fall in love with the person.

 

I won't : )

[Prince Myshkin]

[video=youtube;u_4dPB9MVS8]

[Batman]

[video=youtube;u_4dPB9MVS8]

 

Thanks, that is a great video. What I find most frustrating though are these ignorant comments below... but then again, they're written by butthurt men :dozey:;

[MaxRide]

I LOVE LACI GREEN AHHHH

[Prince Myshkin]

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2014/01/29/3222151/important-facts-college-sexual-assault/

[Prince Myshkin]

http://www.girlonthenet.com/2014/01/29/do-i-hate-men/

 

From a sex writer who normally writes on feminist issues. A decent read.

(Also, feel free to quote back to this whenever the next moron comes on saying the 'wow a whole thread on women when everything is already equal' bullshit surfaces again - about 4 months time)

[Darlene_Ihnfsa]

Provocative title which takes some explanation. My actual point is that I wish it was easier for women to be women than it is. And I hope it does become easier in the future. It's so much easier to be a man, generally speaking, in this life.

 

The thing that really weirds me out, and I wish i could change it (and much of this applies to males too, though not all of it) is the constant focus on appearance and the importance of being sexy that's almost always pushed forward in everyday life. I wish sex education was better in schools and I wish there were lessons on equality and respect between the two genders (I'm talking about genders on a traditional level here, I am aware of the blurred spectrum of gender that exists, though i don't have the time to go into that I'm afraid).

 

I just feel like peoples "imperfections" are seized upon and beauty becomes a commodity that can be bought with the right purchase (be it the right toothpaste, the right clothes or the correct body shape achieved through some kind of magic slimming food/pill or surgery). And the thing with commodities is you need to keep pushing it, because capitalism doesn't work on the basis of buy this and you'll be sorted and won't need to buy anything else. So even after purchasing the product to sort your life out and get you the boy, you need another imperfection to be thrust upon you, and another imperfection. I find it so bizarre because it's peoples imperfections that you tend to fall in love with. It is what separates them from the rest. It is what makes them them.

 

Yet if females don't play the game and buy into all this crap they are ridiculed and held up as frigid, prudish or unattractive. If females do play the game and seek happiness through these means they are met with increased levels of sexism, whether it is being called a slut or even sexual assault (when you get people defending rapists because a girl was dressed certain way).

 

And to top it off, if they do take control of their body and enjoy their sexuality, they are also seen as a slut. It needn't matter if all that they are doing is safe and consensual and they are merely enjoying their bodies, it's seen as shameful.

 

So if you don't play along you're ridiculed and made to feel unattractive. If you do play along you're made out as a slut and you're constantly having your imperfections held up, because you have to maintain that appearance. If you let things slip and put on a few pounds/kilos then people will talk. And if you try to take control of yourself and just enjoy yourself then there will be plenty of people to judge you and try to stop you.

 

There's a very narrow spectrum of possible 'success' for women in this regard. Only a certain type of women are respected on sexual grounds and it really annoys me. For men it's completely different. Generally speaking, men can get away with all sorts. They are just being men. Doing what men do. They can have different pressures of course, but not to the extent that women have them, forced from all sides at all times. It's fucked up.

 

*clap to the OP*

True, girls have it hard (I noticied that when I was like 6 and I would spend 5 years randomly saying "I'd rather be a guy" to my parents, which then turned on me being just a little bit feminist, I'm not going to be sorry because I trust in equality).

I didn't fit in the caring about my beauty type of girl, I rather hang out with the guys, I was curious about things and not spending time learning to use make up or gossiping or mocking another girl because she wasn't pretty, women can be very very mean to each other.

That apparently justified the bullies to call me names (and the bully boss was a girl).

Girls do the wrong thing by being critic about each other, mostly girls are not taught to be quiet, where guys can be noisy (they can speak their mind with no restriction) but girls have to respect the manners, as many issues can't be addressed they grow up being hesitant about their real potential as a person which may result in frustration in the future, girls are not taught to play team games as guys do, the few that women are adviced to do are to help their shape or show their beauty, to stand out and compete for one's beauty, instead of bringing a project together as men do, women are not taught to be valued for other than their bodies, they are not taught to value their intelect, or their creative skills (well there are some traditional tasks which do but mostly are focused to please the guy instead of her feeling creative) or to be curious about things despite they may ruin their dresses if they keep playing in the mud with a toad because they want to be vets when they grow up.

Is good to complain and to admit that we don't have it easy, the big task is help that to change, do encourage a girl that is curious about science, don't stop her because she'll get dirty, do give a girl good values and teach her to defend herself rather than forbid her to wear this or that dress that she likes to wear. Do educate a guy to not rush to get the girl he wants at any cost, or to think is fine to touch their bum because she is sexy and she glanced at him.

Personally I focused on my career first, and about being a mother, yes I have the feel, but not a rush, despite my aunts keep telling me I should settle down and form my family.

You mention about sex ed, I'm not sure why? Do sex is explained a different way to girls?

In my school we'd all get the same talk in the same room.

And btw, you say the standard, I mean about sex ed, I'm curious in my high school we never got a talk in case anyone was homosexual, it was just the general assumed heterosexual talk, basically protect yourself to not get pregnant, wow like STD are not something to care about.

Another matter is "the talk" one gets at home.

[Cobalt]

While Groggy no longer really posts here, he probably meant the topics covered in sex ed were lacking. There's a range of stuff that's kinda important to know that schools/teachers just don't wanna touch on

[Darlene_Ihnfsa]

While Groggy no longer really posts here, he probably meant the topics covered in sex ed were lacking. There's a range of stuff that's kinda important to know that schools/teachers just don't wanna touch on

Yeah because we all know is better to let someone learn something the bad way, sure that's the best school. Many parents let that subject to be taught in school... many things in education, most the social-wise are a task that should do the parents and teachers together, imo. I have many female friends that didn't had the talk not even in school, because the parents said to the teacher, I'll explain her but they never did, I guess that's because many people are shy to talk about it?. I wonder what happens with the guys on that subject.

I guessed it was an old thread, didn't knew the OP don't post anymore.

Thanks for clarifying Cobalt.

[Prince Myshkin]

In response to above, my comments on sex education is that most young people are getting their sex education from pornography, and whilst I'm not anti-pornography it does need contextualising for some people. Not everybody believes porn to be the be all and end all of all sexual endeavour, and just because the majority of pornography is framed with huge amounts of misogyny it does not mean that all people who watch it will replicate such actions, but according to statistics there does seem to be a definite influence that pornography has on society, to certain levels. I remember reading a statistic (which I will not try and guess at as I can't remember the specifics and don't want to mislead and post something untrue) that the percentage of women who had received facials (as porn terms it, or in plainer English, having the guy ejaculate on their face) without agreement or prior warning when sleeping with a particular man for the first time had risen a great deal. This is something to worry about. If such behaviour is being normalised (without consent - there is of course nothing inherently wrong with the practice if both involved are happy with it) then I personally think that the only thing driving that new 'standard' of sexual practice is pornography.

 

I think such things should be explained to both boys and girls alike, to both prevent them from being taken advantage of and inadvertently taking advantage of somebody else, simply because you aren't aware of the consequences of your actions (much in the same way that when I was younger I was a lot less aware of how I facilitated sexism in society by refusing to speak up, and idiotic things like presuming that if somebody wore revealing clothes then they were a slut - simply because that was what I had heard).

[Prince Myshkin]

Also, I've recently started to create a list of paradoxes I've found with societies attitude to those who identify as women (and of course these stretch further than just that):

 

Those who cling to free speech as a defence for their threats and abuse of women with a public platform turn a blind eye to the deep levels of silencing of speech and expression that their threats and abuse generate.

 

Women are taught that if they get drunk, go out alone at night, wear revealing clothes or generally live a life of freedom then their chances of being raped are increased and they should therefore curb such behaviour. Meanwhile the law and the media push forward a systematic suspicion and dismissal of victims of the very same rapes that women are told is awaiting them if they act outside of the expected behaviours.

 

Women are expected to conform to positions of desire, appearing to be sexually available and subservient at all times, whilst at the same time appearing virginal and unsullied. Any woman who is seen to enjoy her sexual freedom or to take control of her own autonomy is viewed as a slut and shamed.

 

The ideal women most commonly promoted by the beauty industry are also the ones we are led to believe are the most open to (and most deserving of) sexual assaults and the ones that men are systematically taught do not deserve their respect.