Don't Let It Break Your Heart!

[karvi22]

Yesterday I saw that picture of a girl saying CP helped her to get through her depression and I was shocked. I was shocked because that girl could be perfectly me, or so many more people around the world... Coldplay give us so much love and peace that it's impossible to find the right words to describe that feeling. I thought it would be wonderful if they only knew how important they are for so many people...

 

Then today I read the story about Chris visiting a child in Manila who is sick of cancer and couldn't attend to the show because of that. It really moved me. it's something so beautiful and amazing that it even made me cry...

 

I write this because today I really had a bad day, and mostly because of people. Selfish people, mean people. People who make you feel insignificant. So I thought: why can't we have more things like Coldplay in the world? Why everything always has to be this hard? Why? Maybe there's no answer to that question... but maybe all we can do about it is to be more like Coldplay. Spread love and kindness is so easy... we should do it more often.

 

So while I was spending this awful day all I could think about was CP. How much I love to listen to their music. How they inspire me to be a better person. How I want to be like them. And now I'm listening to them and I've finally found peace today. As always.

 

Thanks Coldplay for lighting up my darkest days. And thanks Coldplaying for being the place where I can always go to find calm and happiness :)

[coldplayisawesome]

Yesterday I saw that picture of a girl saying CP helped her to get through her depression and I was shocked. I was shocked because that girl could be perfectly me, or so many more people around the world... Coldplay give us so much love and peace that it's impossible to find the right words to describe that feeling. I thought it would be wonderful if they only knew how important they are for so many people...

 

Then today I read the story about Chris visiting a child in Manila who is sick of cancer and couldn't attend to the show because of that. It really moved me. it's something so beautiful and amazing that it even made me cry...

 

I write this because today I really had a bad day, and mostly because of people. Selfish people, mean people. People who make you feel insignificant. So I thought: why can't we have more things like Coldplay in the world? Why everything always has to be this hard? Why? Maybe there's no answer to that question... but maybe all we can do about it is to be more like Coldplay. Spread love and kindness is so easy... we should do it more often.

 

So while I was spending this awful day all I could think about was CP. How much I love to listen to their music. How they inspire me to be a better person. How I want to be like them. And now I'm listening to them and I've finally found peace today. As always.

 

Thanks Coldplay for lighting up my darkest days. And thanks Coldplaying for being the place where I can always go to find calm and happiness :)

 

to add to what you are saying, i think maybe sometimes the people who are selfish and mean like that are the people who need that love and kindness the most. we don't always know where other people are coming from, what they've been through to get to wherever they are now (lol do i sound like Chris or what). it's not necessarily an excuse, but certainly good to keep in mind. maybe those people don't realize how they are acting and if you act back with animosity it does no good for anyone. a little kindness goes a long way ;)

[alisbe]

Yesterday I saw that picture of a girl saying CP helped her to get through her depression and I was shocked. I was shocked because that girl could be perfectly me, or so many more people around the world... Coldplay give us so much love and peace that it's impossible to find the right words to describe that feeling. I thought it would be wonderful if they only knew how important they are for so many people...

 

Then today I read the story about Chris visiting a child in Manila who is sick of cancer and couldn't attend to the show because of that. It really moved me. it's something so beautiful and amazing that it even made me cry...

 

I write this because today I really had a bad day, and mostly because of people. Selfish people, mean people. People who make you feel insignificant. So I thought: why can't we have more things like Coldplay in the world? Why everything always has to be this hard? Why? Maybe there's no answer to that question... but maybe all we can do about it is to be more like Coldplay. Spread love and kindness is so easy... we should do it more often.

 

So while I was spending this awful day all I could think about was CP. How much I love to listen to their music. How they inspire me to be a better person. How I want to be like them. And now I'm listening to them and I've finally found peace today. As always.

 

Thanks Coldplay for lighting up my darkest days. And thanks Coldplaying for being the place where I can always go to find calm and happiness :)

The same for me. There are days when only Coldplay and coldplayers give happiness to my life and I'm so thankful for that. If it weren't for them maybe I would only have darkness.

to add to what you are saying, i think maybe sometimes the people who are selfish and mean like that are the people who need that love and kindness the most. we don't always know where other people are coming from, what they've been through to get to wherever they are now (lol do i sound like Chris or what). it's not necessarily an excuse, but certainly good to keep in mind. maybe those people don't realize how they are acting and if you act back with animosity it does no good for anyone. a little kindness goes a long way ;)

This is true and sometimes I forget this. Everyone needs an opportunity and through love we can help.

[I ran away]

to add to what you are saying, i think maybe sometimes the people who are selfish and mean like that are the people who need that love and kindness the most. we don't always know where other people are coming from, what they've been through to get to wherever they are now (lol do i sound like Chris or what). it's not necessarily an excuse, but certainly good to keep in mind. maybe those people don't realize how they are acting and if you act back with animosity it does no good for anyone. a little kindness goes a long way ;)

1. You absolutely do sound like Chis :joy:

2. You are right in what you say

3. And I think that's what Chris means when

he sings "my heart is my gun"

[iamsue]

to add to what you are saying, i think maybe sometimes the people who are selfish and mean like that are the people who need that love and kindness the most. we don't always know where other people are coming from, what they've been through to get to wherever they are now (lol do i sound like Chris or what). it's not necessarily an excuse, but certainly good to keep in mind. maybe those people don't realize how they are acting and if you act back with animosity it does no good for anyone. a little kindness goes a long way ;)

 

True words of wisdom! To add, those people may be acting out the way they do because they don't have anyone like Coldplay or Coldplaying to turn to in their darkness.

 

 

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[alicjanna]

Hi everyone, I want to get some things off my chest

 

I've been feeling like a complete mess lately. Some things have been worrying me for a long time but now they started "accumulating":

 

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I can't find my passion and I get bored with things quite easily.

Our maths teacher might take a year-long sick leave next year. He's the best teacher in our school and it makes me worry about my finals.

 

I am usually able to cope with these things, but now I overwhelmed with them and that situation:

 

I became very close friends with a girl from my class and she came out to me that she's fond of females (she's not sure if she's bi/homo romantic/sexual). I must say that she's the most wonderful person I've ever met. After some time I realised that I really love her but I wasn't sure if it was a romantic or non-romantic feeling (like for a family member or a friend). A few days ago she told me that she loves me and I did so too (neither of us said in what way but I guess she meant the romantic way). I've been thinking about my romantic/sexual identity a lot and I realised that even if I might feel attracted to women this feeling is much less stronger than the one I have for men so I can't imagine being in a long-term relationship with a female.

So now I'm terribly confused about what I should do. I guess she thinks that I'm homo/bi too. I can't see myself being with her but our relationship seems to be going that way and it looks like she has fallen for me.

I want to tell her about my thoughts but I'm afraid I'll hurt her. I top of it, she tends to be self-destructive (in a mental, not physical way) so she might blame it on herself. The only thing I want to do now is to be alone but I know that alienating myself is only going to worsen the whole situation and make her worry even more. I don't want to ruin our friendship.

 

I hope that what I wrote makes sense

 

Right now I feel like an embodiment of confusion

[coldplayisawesome]

Hi everyone, I want to get some things off my chest

 

I've been feeling like a complete mess lately. Some things have been worrying me for a long time but now they started "accumulating":

 

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I can't find my passion and I get bored with things quite easily.

Our maths teacher might take a year-long sick leave next year. He's the best teacher in our school and it makes me worry about my finals.

 

I am usually able to cope with these things, but now I overwhelmed with them and that situation:

 

I became very close friends with a girl from my class and she came out to me that she's fond of females (she's not sure if she's bi/homo romantic/sexual). I must say that she's the most wonderful person I've ever met. After some time I realised that I really love her but I wasn't sure if it was a romantic or non-romantic feeling (like for a family member or a friend). A few days ago she told me that she loves me and I did so too (neither of us said in what way but I guess she meant the romantic way). I've been thinking about my romantic/sexual identity a lot and I realised that even if I might feel attracted to women this feeling is much less stronger than the one I have for men so I can't imagine being in a long-term relationship with a female.

So now I'm terribly confused about what I should do. I guess she thinks that I'm homo/bi too. I can't see myself being with her but our relationship seems to be going that way and it looks like she has fallen for me.

I want to tell her about my thoughts but I'm afraid I'll hurt her. I top of it, she tends to be self-destructive (in a mental, not physical way) so she might blame it on herself. The only thing I want to do now is to be alone but I know that alienating myself is only going to worsen the whole situation and make her worry even more. I don't want to ruin our friendship.

 

I hope that what I wrote makes sense

 

Right now I feel like an embodiment of confusion

 

wow, i can see why you're feeling overwhelmed, this is a lot to be going through at once! but i think the important thing is that you should not worry too much about the REST of your life. it's good to have a general plan, but getting too worried about the details will stress you out and "nothing ever turns out as you planned" anyway ;)

 

so if you feel like you don't know what you want to do with your life? you'll do many things with your life and that's OK. you don't have to pick one thing and settle for that. keep trying different things out and eventually you'll get an idea for what you want to do. and then probably that will change after some years and you'll start doing another thing. to me that seems perfectly normal.

and if it's figuring out what you want to do for school purposes, then i would say find something that you think would be really practical to have an education in, but that you could also tolerate studying for however long. in your free time, that's when you can experiment with learning different things - the internet is a great place for that. i think a lot of people don't end up LOVING what they do for a living, but instead use hobbies as an outlet for that passion :)

 

then, your situation with your friend... i know you say you don't want to hurt her, but the truth is that if she's going to be hurt it will happen whether or not you address it now. if you really don't have romantic feelings for her, it's not right to make her think that you do, and honestly it's not fair to her OR to you. relationships are about communication, no matter whether they're romantic or platonic. if you know you don't feel the same way about her or if you aren't sure how you feel then it's important for you to talk that through with her. be really open about it and let her know how confused you were/are. if she is also unsure of whether she's bi or gay, then i would think she should understand. but it also kinda sounds like you don't know for sure how she feels about you either? you might be right in your inference that her feelings are romantic, but neither of you were explicit about what you meant when you said you love each other, so it doesn't seem out of line for you to ask for clarification.

and it's unfortunate that she is self-destructive, but please don't let that hold you back from talking to her. you can't corner yourself or let her corner you into something you don't want just because it seems to be going that way and you don't want to stop it because you think you'll hurt her. again, that's not fair to either of you. and this might be hard to hear, but... if you talk to her about this and it does ruin your friendship, then clearly your friendship wasn't that strong to begin with.

 

i hope this helps at least a little bit and i'm sure the others will have good advice for you as well.

[alisbe]

Hi everyone, I want to get some things off my chest

 

I've been feeling like a complete mess lately. Some things have been worrying me for a long time but now they started "accumulating":

 

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I can't find my passion and I get bored with things quite easily.

Our maths teacher might take a year-long sick leave next year. He's the best teacher in our school and it makes me worry about my finals.

 

I am usually able to cope with these things, but now I overwhelmed with them and that situation:

 

I became very close friends with a girl from my class and she came out to me that she's fond of females (she's not sure if she's bi/homo romantic/sexual). I must say that she's the most wonderful person I've ever met. After some time I realised that I really love her but I wasn't sure if it was a romantic or non-romantic feeling (like for a family member or a friend). A few days ago she told me that she loves me and I did so too (neither of us said in what way but I guess she meant the romantic way). I've been thinking about my romantic/sexual identity a lot and I realised that even if I might feel attracted to women this feeling is much less stronger than the one I have for men so I can't imagine being in a long-term relationship with a female.

So now I'm terribly confused about what I should do. I guess she thinks that I'm homo/bi too. I can't see myself being with her but our relationship seems to be going that way and it looks like she has fallen for me.

I want to tell her about my thoughts but I'm afraid I'll hurt her. I top of it, she tends to be self-destructive (in a mental, not physical way) so she might blame it on herself. The only thing I want to do now is to be alone but I know that alienating myself is only going to worsen the whole situation and make her worry even more. I don't want to ruin our friendship.

 

I hope that what I wrote makes sense

 

Right now I feel like an embodiment of confusion

First of all thank you so much for trusting on us.

About your teacher, take the best of your new teacher. Once a teacher told something like this "a student learn with the teacher, without the teacher and despite the teacher" (I hope this makes sense) she wasn't a good teacher but her words were true, if you want to learn you take advantage of all the tools you have around you and there's always the possibility to ask your teacher any questions you have at the end of the lesson.

Don't worry about your future it'll make things worse. You still have time to make a decision that will make you happy.Write a list of things you enjoy, read about them, look for the many possibilities you have in the feild you choose. Just remember that anything you choose should be something to make you feel happy.

About your friend, you have to tell her how you feel. I don't think there's another way to do it. Perhaps I'm not the right person to tell you what to do because I've been dealing with a situation in which I need to express my thoughts. But, I do recommend you to do it as soon as possible, if you don't do it it'll be harder later, I'm telling you that from my own experience.

I wish you the best

[Nie]

I can only confirm what already has been said.

If you don't want to be with her as a couple and she believes that you do, talk to her and explain as soon as possible.

Waiting won't make it any easier.

I hope you still can be close friends.

[I ran away]

First of all a big hug to you, @alicjanna ! You are going through a lot and I can totally understand how you feel.

 

I second everything that @coldplayisawesome said, I believe her post really is the best possible advice. Your situation is very difficult, but in human relationships it is sometimes inevitable to either get hurt yourself or have to hurt someboy else's feelings. If you start a romantic relationship with her now just because you don't want to hurt or lose her, but are not physically attracted to her or women in general, it will have a bad basis and will end in heartbreak and even more hurt later. You have got to tell her now. As @Nie said, I hope you two find a way to makw it work as a normal friendship. This might be difficult though, don't wanna get your hopes up....

Hang in there !

[iamsue]

@alicjanna, you are incredibly brave in dealing with your feelings head-on and admitting them to yourself and us. Thank you for your gift of trust! I second the hugs and advice from your friends here. what a big load you are carrying at such a young age! The best way to be a friend is to be honest with your friend about your intentions now. You know what you want and who you are. That is is HUGE. It takes courage to be honest with yourself - and you did that already. That was The Hardest Part.

Acting on your gut and helping your friend understand her situation with you won't be as bad. Please let us know how it goes!

 

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[alicjanna]

Thank you @coldplayisawesome @alisbe @Nie @I ran away @iamsue for all of your advices, it means a world to me.

I won't respond to each of you separately cause I would only repeat myself so there's one concluding message:

 

I know I have to be honest with her, there's no other way to solve this situation. I don't think we'll lose contact with each other afterwards, but I'm afraid that our relationship won't be the same; there might be a kind of a barrier. Well, i don't know. We shall see.

 

I love what you @alisbe said about teachers - it's so easy to tax someone else with your problems when in fact you are the one that should be the most responsible for them (at least in terms of knowledge).

 

In terms of my future, I'm trying to seize every opportunity I get - I'm doing voluntary work, going to local festival and events, looking for a holiday job... Just anything and hopefully it will somehow lead me to finding who I want to be.

 

 

Thank you all again. I am so grateful for this amazing community. Your support made me feel so much better [emoji173]️

[karvi22]

@alicjanna Everybody here has given to you the best advices you could receive, so I can't say so much more... certainly, the best thing to do in your situation is to talk to her about your real feelings.

 

Recently I was in a similar situation with a friend. I was so scared of losing him that I never said to him all that I wanted to say. Besides, he also hated expressing his own emotions... it's a long story, but to sum up, the thing is today we are no friends anymore. We don't even talk each other anymore. And all of this happened because we never talked about our feelings the way we should have done... so don't let it go. Open your heart and don't be afraid of the consequences.

 

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I can't find my passion and I get bored with things quite easily.

 

Don't worry about that... you have your whole life to figure it out. Don't ever feel pressured about choosing a way or another... life is long and nothing lasts forever, so if you make a decision that you eventually don't like, you can always make another decision to change the first one... it will never be too late.

 

Hope that everything goes well to you. Send you all my support :)

[iamsue]

@alicajanna,

 

Karvi reminded me about something else I wanted to say. Getting bored easily and finding your passion could be about your personality style. Like we've been talking about in the Personality thread. You remind me of myself in that I am very spontaneous and get bored easily. My Jack Russell/Rat Terrier does too. It is in her blood and breed to be naturally curious and get bored. So it is with our styles. We share some characteristics that give us great clues as to how we can choose work that will key into our passion - vs. draining it. So if you find a type of work with lots of variety and opportunity for growth in it, and in an area that is always growing and constantly changing, then decide which of these you are most passionate about - there you go! I know it's not that easy, but it will give you a direction.

 

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[alicjanna]

Thank you @karvi22 and @iamsue [emoji173]️

[antdrew]

Sorry I'm a bit late but I agree with everything that's been said you have to tackle emotions and feelings head on because, for me at least, all these feelings compound together and turn you into a mess if you don't deal with them. I learnt the hard way that you can't give in to self destructive people. Because in the long run it'll just harm the both of you. Lastly about the friendship thing, what happens happens I guess. Unfortunately connecting with people is dynamic and changing and friendships/relationships are never set forever. But the main thing is to reflect upon what's happening in relationships and whether you like the direction it is going in. Sorry if I'm repeating myself, I'm pretty tired now since my free time for these forums is now being taken out of sleep :)

[alicjanna]

Sorry I'm a bit late but I agree with everything that's been said you have to tackle emotions and feelings head on because, for me at least, all these feelings compound together and turn you into a mess if you don't deal with them. I learnt the hard way that you can't give in to self destructive people. Because in the long run it'll just harm the both of you. Lastly about the friendship thing, what happens happens I guess. Unfortunately connecting with people is dynamic and changing and friendships/relationships are never set forever. But the main thing is to reflect upon what's happening in relationships and whether you like the direction it is going in. Sorry if I'm repeating myself, I'm pretty tired now since my free time for these forums is now being taken out of sleep :)

You're so right about feelings compounding together - I know this feeling too well. I hope that I'll manage to talk to her about that soon.

Thank you for devoting your sleep to writing this message :) sleep well tonight!

[Batman]

I have to put my dog down in about 3 hours. I've had him for 17 years, I am very sad. I'll probably come to closure after digging the grave and laying him down, but well.. it's a depressing day.

[coldplayisawesome]

I have to put my dog down in about 3 hours. I've had him for 17 years, I am very sad. I'll probably come to closure after digging the grave and laying him down, but well.. it's a depressing day.

 

thalia, i'm sorry to hear that and sorry for your loss :(:hug:

[Batman]

thalia, i'm sorry to hear that and sorry for your loss :(:hug:

Thank you for the virtual hug :3

I will eventually come over it. It's just... ugh.

[I ran away]

@Batman Sorry to hear that.... :'( I wish you lots of strength and am sending a hug as well.

[Nie]

@Batman, loosing an animal who has been your friend for 17 years, that's so hard.

Big hug.

[AMDB9]

@Batman I'm so sorry! I know how you feel! We had to put down our dog a few years ago

[alisbe]

I have to put my dog down in about 3 hours. I've had him for 17 years, I am very sad. I'll probably come to closure after digging the grave and laying him down, but well.. it's a depressing day.

I'm so sorry about your loss, sending you a big hug

[alicjanna]

I have to put my dog down in about 3 hours. I've had him for 17 years, I am very sad. I'll probably come to closure after digging the grave and laying him down, but well.. it's a depressing day.

I'm so sorry for your loss :/