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The Church of Chris Martin. (Update: Have declared a TRUCE to the holy war on Coldplaying!)


Bonus_mosher

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Guest LiquidSky
Holy war, huh? They must not know we have some GREAT soldiers on our side :smartass:

 

armygg3.jpg

 

oh my god! I love it!:lol: *Saves as*

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:lol:

 

cmfingers.jpg

 

Coldplaying.com (which is like a low-rent version of the Church of Chris Martin where the people DON’T EVEN REALISE THEY’RE BELIEVERS) have had an interesting thread in the discussion forum at the moment, where they make some VERY inflamitory statements. They have all sorts of misconceptions about what we do, and what’s more, their misconceptions are wrong.

 

I want to refute some of these hurtful statements, quoted below -

 

  • When I first found it I thought it was all one big joke - It is not. Chris Martin is ACTUALLY the new Messiah, it’s a scientific FACT. There is nothing funny about that!
  • I guess it’s flattering, but you knoooow Chris would not like it. - He would so.
  • Some of those statements are absolute bull-shit, Chris being contacted by the C.I.A. to fly - It’s a matter of public record, actually. I’d post the documents but I’ve been told not to by my contact in the intelligence services.
  • **agrees with the creep factor** :stunned:although i often remark to my family that”Chris Martin IS God’ when they go on about my obsession with CP - You see, these people have been deifying Chris Martin for years, we just take it more literally, that’s all. At least we’re aware of what we’re doing - these guys seem blissfully ignorant.
  • I don’t know if Chris wants a devoted following. Well, besides us. - See what I mean?
  • Next they’ll be wanting to sacrifice people. - Will not. We want to “Fix them”.

It is not the policy of the Church of Chris Martin to be a part of any petty arguments - however, in this case, we will make an exception, and DECLARE HOLY WAR on Coldplaying.com. They are heritics, unbelievers, blasphemers and a bunch of real shits too.

 

It is now the SACRED DUTY of all true Martinites to uphold this CRUSADE and boycott Coldplaying.com, and say rude things about them whenever possible. Chris be with you.

 

http://www.thechurchofchrismartin.com/2008/the-church-of-chris-martin-vs-coldplayingcom/

 

 

 

They quoted me like three times. :freak:

Do you think I've offended them, just a tad? :lol:

Ooooh dear. I've got a 'religious' group on my ass, that's just priceless. :lol:

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OK - so the internet has other uses. Uses no originator could have even imagined in their most wild, hallucinated, and intensely provoked state of mind!:laugh3: Let's see - of Bono is God, then Chris Martin is Jesus?:P (pardon my jargon;)) But who will be Mother Mary, full of grace??

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Guest LiquidSky
:singer::whip:...or we can just whip Chris:sneaky:

 

 

I prefer some Jonny whipping instead:P

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:dozey: is this a serious thread? or it's that now there are july fools jokes! hahaha poor coldplay I see why they are some hated by some :\ Haha heretics join the army to defeat the new crusaders.... lol there's even a religious interpretation of clocks lol (Chuck you would be a saint there lol)

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Ruh Roh !!

 

:stunned:

:lol:

 

cmfingers.jpg

 

Coldplaying.com (which is like a low-rent version of the Church of Chris Martin where the people DON’T EVEN REALISE THEY’RE BELIEVERS) have had an interesting thread in the discussion forum at the moment, where they make some VERY inflamitory statements. They have all sorts of misconceptions about what we do, and what’s more, their misconceptions are wrong.

 

I want to refute some of these hurtful statements, quoted below -

 

  • When I first found it I thought it was all one big joke - It is not. Chris Martin is ACTUALLY the new Messiah, it’s a scientific FACT. There is nothing funny about that!
  • I guess it’s flattering, but you knoooow Chris would not like it. - He would so.
  • Some of those statements are absolute bull-shit, Chris being contacted by the C.I.A. to fly - It’s a matter of public record, actually. I’d post the documents but I’ve been told not to by my contact in the intelligence services.
  • **agrees with the creep factor** :stunned:although i often remark to my family that”Chris Martin IS God’ when they go on about my obsession with CP - You see, these people have been deifying Chris Martin for years, we just take it more literally, that’s all. At least we’re aware of what we’re doing - these guys seem blissfully ignorant.
  • I don’t know if Chris wants a devoted following. Well, besides us. - See what I mean?
  • Next they’ll be wanting to sacrifice people. - Will not. We want to “Fix them”.

 

It is not the policy of the Church of Chris Martin to be a part of any petty arguments - however, in this case, we will make an exception, and DECLARE HOLY WAR on Coldplaying.com. They are heritics, unbelievers, blasphemers and a bunch of real shits too.

 

It is now the SACRED DUTY of all true Martinites to uphold this CRUSADE and boycott Coldplaying.com, and say rude things about them whenever possible. Chris be with you.

 

http://www.thechurchofchrismartin.com/2008/the-church-of-chris-martin-vs-coldplayingcom/

 

 

 

(just saw this!):shocked2:

 

Oh NOOO....Could I really be guilty of...DEIFYING?????:o

 

(runs to nearest confessional...."Father, forgive me, for I have sinned"......)

 

 

 

 

 

Do ya think this means the Church of Chris Martin doesn`t like my siggy?:(:(

 

:thinking:....:P:P:P:P:P:P:P:lol:(reaches for jar of Oklahoma WHUP ASS)

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:laugh3:Gee, thanks Ricardo!

Which saint should I be??;) I've always likes St. Francis of Assisi, being a gardener and birder. :angel:(they need a gardener smiley!).

Are you musically inclined as well, Ricardo?

 

 

 

 

 

I like birds!:D

 

 

IMG_0711.jpg

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OK - so the internet has other uses. Uses no originator could have even imagined in their most wild, hallucinated, and intensely provoked state of mind!:laugh3: Let's see - of Bono is God, then Chris Martin is Jesus?:P (pardon my jargon;)) But who will be Mother Mary, full of grace??

Mother Mary...why that's Thom Yorke.:P

 

 

And we all know who Moses is:rolleyes:

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Sacred%20Heart.jpg

 

I can look on this picture for about 2 seconds, then I HAVE to look away. Not because it's terribly photoshopped, no because it creeps me out! I mean, I have no problems with people believing in other people or even in objects! But do they have to make a website about it? :uhoh:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*hides under desk*

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For those of you who don't know about it

it's been running for years,

but I just remembered it. go visit it now!!

 

www.thechurchofchrismartin.com

 

here's a picture taken from the site! :lol:

 

EDIT: It's a pretty hilarious site!

 

Sacred%20Heart.jpg

 

 

Well, I don't want to break anybodies illusion and I Am a very big fan of Coldplay and I really love their songs, but in my opinion this site is a bit too exaggerated. I mean, PLEASE, Chris can cure cureless diseases?? :confused::confused:

 

Coldplay's songs can help psychical or can activate feelings, but this website is too horrific.:stunned:

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oh my god.

 

or should i say, oh my chris?

 

THIS IS SO FRIGGIN' HILARIOUS!!!!

 

first of all, i don't think it's real, at all.

 

i mean, are people really this insane? i never thought so. come on, i'm like, the most obsessed with chris there is, but i don't believe he can cure uncureable diseases?!?!

 

that's just....creepy.

 

i'm really creeped out.

 

THE CHURCH OF CHRIS MARTIN:

 

I KNOW HE'S A TALENTED MAN, BUT HE'S NOT A F*CKING GOD.

 

you're all insane.

 

so if you want war, i say...

 

BRING IT BITCHES!!!!

 

like the others said, we've got the best soldiers on our side. :]]]]

 

i find this all absolutley hilarious. but i'm a little creeped out that people are that obsessed. i really think, and HOPE, it's a hoax.

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Oh my goodness. Does anybody else think we should delete this thread? I mean, I'll admit, it is pretty creepy. This is the first time I post in this one, but I usually just skip it. I don't like it, especially that photoshopped pic, lol. I don't know, I don't think this is right. :shocked3: What would Coldplay think if they ever saw this whole mess?

 

It would be nice to have "fans", but not in this "Chris Martin is GOD" way.

It's pretty funny, but I think it would be better if we ust take this thread down.

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