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Critic ratings.

lennyrott2

New Coldplayer
Coldplayer
Joined
Mar 6, 2014
Messages
147
I agree with most of these ratings honestly. Being a hardcore fan I would give it more of a 7.5, but I agree that this album has great moments of creativity and beauty, but also parts that are just meh.
 

Batman

My batshake brings all the spam to the yard
Coldplayer
Joined
Jan 11, 2008
Messages
20,319
Never in human f***ing history, since fish first slithered onto the f***ing land and sprouted limbs has there been a more nondescript f***ing decade than the f***ing Noughties and never has there been a more nondescript f***ing group than those gelatinous c***lords Coldplay! They made Dido sound like Bessie f***ing Smith! They filled the giant f***ing void in pop culture in the early 21st century because they are a giant f***ing void! Somehow, Martin’s knack for trudging up and down a keyboard like a middle aged man in f***ing chinos strolling to the f***ing corner shop to buy the f***ing Daily Express while singing like he’d just been kneed in the f***ing bollocks caught the zeitgeist of the dullest, do-nothing, think-wishfully generation of all f***ing time! In the rock & roll hall of fame they sit near the f***ing exit like a f***ing birch veneer occasional f***ing table! Getting excited about f***ing Coldplay is like getting excited about the f***ing Liberal Democrat Spring conference!

http://thequietus.com/articles/15274-coldplay-ghost-stories-review



looks like somebody didn't take their pills today.
 

nvdmm

Oldplayer. Too Oldplay
Coldplayer
Joined
May 17, 2008
Messages
1,010
How could a band, people you've never met basically, engulf such a deep hatred in a human being?! I'm lost for words.
 

gus

Coldplayer
Coldplayer
Joined
Jan 31, 2007
Messages
502
I personally dont believe critics they are so cynical i wont believe any of the ratings even if they are positive because this people are frustrated musicians so i dont care.
 
H

howyousawtheworld

Guest
Never in human f***ing history, since fish first slithered onto the f***ing land and sprouted limbs has there been a more nondescript f***ing decade than the f***ing Noughties and never has there been a more nondescript f***ing group than those gelatinous c***lords Coldplay! They made Dido sound like Bessie f***ing Smith! They filled the giant f***ing void in pop culture in the early 21st century because they are a giant f***ing void! Somehow, Martin’s knack for trudging up and down a keyboard like a middle aged man in f***ing chinos strolling to the f***ing corner shop to buy the f***ing Daily Express while singing like he’d just been kneed in the f***ing bollocks caught the zeitgeist of the dullest, do-nothing, think-wishfully generation of all f***ing time! In the rock & roll hall of fame they sit near the f***ing exit like a f***ing birch veneer occasional f***ing table! Getting excited about f***ing Coldplay is like getting excited about the f***ing Liberal Democrat Spring conference!

http://thequietus.com/articles/15274-coldplay-ghost-stories-review



Ahhh! Mr Agreeable - a parody writer (aka David Stubbs) once of Melody Maker fame. I do like inventive swearing but it's not quite Viz or Malcolm Tucker so it's kind of dated....in Mr Agreeable's sense at least 20 years out of date.
Bizarrely Stubbs has also written a biography on the footballer and pundit of Sky Sports Saturday football wankathon, Charlie Nicholas. I'm a massive football reader but for those who don't know let's just say Charlie Nicholas isn't exactly Ronaldo. Can't wait for his biog on tortured tv superstar Keith Chegwin.
 

nancyk58

Up&Up
Coldplayer
Joined
Jun 26, 2009
Messages
29,337
http://www.welt.de/kultur/pop/article127964565/Als-wuerden-Wale-um-Gwyneth-weinen.html

13.05.14 / Coldplay

As (if) whales would cry for Gwyneth

The British band Coldplay releases their sixth album "Ghost Stories". It is about pain in connection with separation, comfort/consolation, and tattoos. It also sounds like that: A warm sensual bath in nine new songs.

By Frédéric Schwilden (translated by Nancy Boysen)

Chris Martin is a genius/prodigy. Because his very emotional lyrics has not made it to the important libraries in the world so far, then Coldplay’s lyricist and singer has come up with something very exciting. He has simply made sure that the lyrics of the nine songs off the new album "Ghost Stories" were put/let into books in libraries. The lyrics of "Another's Arms" was found in the Singapore National Library.

"Magic" in turn was deposited in the Vasconcelos Library in Mexico City. By his marketing team that had left the handwritten lines in books with ghost stories. And of course the fans should look for the lyrics.

And, as in Roald Dahl's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", together with the lyrics there was a golden ticket inviting the finder and a companion to London to attend a Coldplay concert in the Royal Albert Hall. Whether the finder wants to or not, he/she now has to go to London and listen to Coldplay for more than one hour.

How we would like to feel

"Ghost Stories" is Coldplay’s sixth album. Coldplay is the band to rely on if you are a film maker looking for a song for some credits, for some scene, in which some sad person is looking out of the window. Coldplay was also used by the Sopranos. And the British band even received a Hollywood Film Award for their song "Atlas" written particularly for "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire".

Coldplay continue to make ambient music for the big and small moments in the life of people placing their feelings/emotions above everything, and who think that they are so important that they believe that Wong Kar-Wai would make a movie about their history with the title "My Blueberry Nights 2.0".

Chris Martin again thinks that he is so important that he believes that the end of his relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow should be the theme of an entire album. "Ghost Stories" is a concept album about a man who processes the dramatic and sudden end of his relationship.

Love is a Bob Dylan tattoo

Therefore "Ghost Stories" begins with an impressively ethereal guitar played by Johnny Buckland and Chris Martin’s sleepy breathy lines: "I think of you/ I haven't slept/ I think I do, but/ I don't forget/ my body moves/ goes where I will/ but though I try my heart stays still." The singer seems to have been very sad, and even though he has tried all sorts of distractions, his heart still hangs on his Gwyn.

"You're always in my head", Chris sings. After ten year’s marriage Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are now separated. The magazine "Gala" also knows why. They are "just too different," the magazine reported citing an "insider from the circle of acquaintances”.

So romantic, so timeless classic "Ghost Stories" might sound, by name, just by European tales of white women, the wild hunt, of Will-o'-the dissuade who dissuades the drunken wanderer at night from the road, so modern is "Ghost Stories" after all. The greatest proof of love of modernity is finally the tattoo. "Got a tattoo that said 2gether thru life," it says in the song "Ink". And you imagine this couple, he in his late thirties, she in her early forties, and on their arms they have had this line tattooed / inked because of a Bob Dylan album entitled "Together Through Life".

In the sky is fun fair (carnival)

With "Magic" Coldplay has really written another grandiose single. The polyphonic, moving bass riff is minimalistic, just tender. In the background cool drums. "Magic" is actually no Coldplay song. No bombast, no tinsel, just a song. What a song!

For "A Sky Full of Stars" Martin sits down at the piano again. “You're a sky full of stars”, he sings, then followed by the Euro Dance synthesizer that sounds like a thunderstorm of steel. If this song had participated at the Euro Vision Song Contest, then it would have got a high ranking. But upon listening to it, you wonder if Coldplay really wanted to write the dodgems anthem for the opening of the carnival/funfair season.

You cannot imagine that Martin tinkers with Buckland in the rehearsal room, and then Buckland says, as he has just found this Eurosound: "So, Ladies and Gentlemen, here we go. With 120 km/h we catapult you to the south. Up(wards) it goes. The chips in the scooter, und off goes the ride!" It must have been different. But probably it was like this.

Lyrics like "Twilight" dialogues

"Ghost Stories" is not scary, it is just incredibly tiring. Lyrics like Twilight dialogues – "In the darkness before the dawn" – complement each other with this Coldplay sound that always sounds as if the band would write the soundtrack for the new, so far unreleased and for a long time deemed-as-lost Jacques Cousteau film "Humpback Whales - Gentle giants of the Sea".

Always so hard floating. Now and then Martin’s head voice, like the song of the diving mammal he echoes bubbling through the Mariana Trench. Some say that the origin of our world lies in the singing of the whales, you can hear the Fibonacci sequence and even the number Pi out there, that is the natural variables that let us be humans.

But finally whale song is just whale song. And no matter how long you listen to Chris Martin sing, it does not make you understand the world.

Coldplay: "Ghost Stories" (Parlophone) released on 16.05 (in Germany).
 

Kingzilla

Coldplayer
Coldplayer
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
567
I'm really surprised at some of the negativity. The thing is the main music reviewers like NME are giving it decent ratings like 3.5 and 4's. Its the guys in the middle that are attacking Coldplay.
 

ulwanmokhtar

Coldplayer
Coldplayer
Joined
May 3, 2014
Messages
100
It was more of mainstream criticism, which would explain the negativity of them reviewers but not for Billboard, those boys totally understand the purpose of Ghost Stories, thus giving GS a fair positive 85/100. Check out the review, they totally understand!
 

oldmuckers

Prospekt's March
Honorary Coldplayer
Coldplayer
Joined
Apr 5, 2003
Messages
465
A few things that I have noticed over the years about Coldplay reviews…

01) It almost seems like some critics are afraid to give a Coldplay album too good of a review as if it will hurt their credibility in some a way. A lot of the time the review itself is way more positive then the rating they give it indicates. More then once I have read what seems like a glowing review only to get to the bottom and see they gave the record an average three out of five stars.

02) Critics always seem to want the exact opposite of what the current album is. All I read in the MX reviews was that they wanted the band to return to the low key sounds of the Parachutes era and now that they have I’m reading a lot of critics saying they are missing the bombast of the previous album. The real interesting thing is that it almost seems like this makes them like the previous album more then they did before in contrast.

03) I don’t care too much about what critics say…
 

A RUSH OF VIDA

New Coldplayer
Coldplayer
Joined
Jul 16, 2008
Messages
4,555
A few things that I have noticed over the years about Coldplay reviews…

01) It almost seems like some critics are afraid to give a Coldplay album too good of a review as if it will hurt their credibility in some a way. A lot of the time the review itself is way more positive then the rating they give it indicates. More then once I have read what seems like a glowing review only to get to the bottom and see they gave the record an average three out of five stars.

02) Critics always seem to want the exact opposite of what the current album is. All I read in the MX reviews was that they wanted the band to return to the low key sounds of the Parachutes era and now that they have I’m reading a lot of critics saying they are missing the bombast of the previous album. The real interesting thing is that it almost seems like this makes them like the previous album more then they did before in contrast.

03) I don’t care too much about what critics say…
I agree 100%. It sucks its like that.

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk
 

lines999000

New Coldplayer
Coldplayer
Joined
Mar 9, 2014
Messages
5
A few things that I have noticed over the years about Coldplay reviews…

01) It almost seems like some critics are afraid to give a Coldplay album too good of a review as if it will hurt their credibility in some a way. A lot of the time the review itself is way more positive then the rating they give it indicates. More then once I have read what seems like a glowing review only to get to the bottom and see they gave the record an average three out of five stars.

02) Critics always seem to want the exact opposite of what the current album is. All I read in the MX reviews was that they wanted the band to return to the low key sounds of the Parachutes era and now that they have I’m reading a lot of critics saying they are missing the bombast of the previous album. The real interesting thing is that it almost seems like this makes them like the previous album more then they did before in contrast.

03) I don’t care too much about what critics say…
I agree
 
H

howyousawtheworld

Guest
A few things that I have noticed over the years about Coldplay reviews…

01) It almost seems like some critics are afraid to give a Coldplay album too good of a review as if it will hurt their credibility in some a way. A lot of the time the review itself is way more positive then the rating they give it indicates. More then once I have read what seems like a glowing review only to get to the bottom and see they gave the record an average three out of five stars.

02) Critics always seem to want the exact opposite of what the current album is. All I read in the MX reviews was that they wanted the band to return to the low key sounds of the Parachutes era and now that they have I’m reading a lot of critics saying they are missing the bombast of the previous album. The real interesting thing is that it almost seems like this makes them like the previous album more then they did before in contrast.

03) I don’t care too much about what critics say…
It's a fair assessment. That said the world of music journalism has lessened drastically in recent years. The rise of the internet, blogging and the ability to listen to any music we want at the click of a button (thanks to Spotify and Youtube) has seen a rise in pseudo journalism/intellectuals who present themselves as all knowing individuals. However in reality, behind the computer screen, what are they but meek and meaningless individuals contributing to the ever increasing and pointless saturation of the internet. Their voice, which they want to be desperately heard, is lost in the murmur of pointless guff that is spouted.
 
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