Yeah time has passed and I mean I am not feeling bad towards her about being with someone at all and to be honest the way she is now with smoking and drugs after we broke up, I don't really want to be with her either. But there's still that base feeling that it is just kinda weird knowing somebody else is there now and also knowing that clearly you aren't realistically going to stay with that one person forever, as at least I thought whilst in that relationship...I completely understand you but it is hard to give an answer. I also have the feeling that for some people relationships seem to just serve the purpose of not being alone, and you are essentially replaceable...I don't understand how some people move on so quickly, although in your case quite some time seems to have passed, right ?
On the other hand this notion that there is only one person for you is likely to make you unhappy. But not thinking like that also seems wrong. Yeah, I don't really have an answer...
Sending you a big hug anyway
Wow, Karvi, I can feel your anguish over what to do about this relationship and also your ability to judge people. Ok, I have a few thoughts on this I hope will help.I wanted to share something with you guys because I'm not sure how to feel about it and this is making me crazy... want to know your opinion about this.
I'm in love with someone who is already in a relationship. We've been friends since almost 2 years. I know this is wrong, but I didn't know he was with someone else when I met him. In fact, I've found it out a couple of months ago (no because he told me, I saw it on the social media). This is important because if I had known it, I know I would have seen him in a totally different way since the beginning. I would have seen him only as a friend, nothing more or nothing less.
When I knew this new information, I felt really sad and in some way, I felt deceived... I thought we had something special because of the sweet way he always treats me. Always loved him in silence, but all the things we shared and the way he talked to me made me think he had the same feelings for me. But no. Not at all, because he loves someone else. So then I decided to put some distance between us. This whole thing was hurting me and I couldn't take it anymore. The problem is he doesn't seem to understand that. He doesn't let me forget him. He's still there and again I feel really stupid. I think he should leave me alone, right? Why is he so adorable with me? Maybe he acts like that with everybody... but if he knows I love him (I'm pretty sure he must know), he should be a little less lovely... don't you think? Or maybe I'm wrong... but when he talks to me like that I feel really bad because I still have feelings for him. I feel stupid because it seems I don't understand people behaviours... in this case I actually thought he could love me, but nothing could be further from the truth. It feels like no one can understand how I feel... hope some of you could do it.
i can't tell you how many times i've been in this kind of positionMaybe he acts like that with everybody... I feel stupid because it seems I don't understand people behaviours...
Yeah, I also think his attitude is not good, but maybe he treats everybody like that and I just misunderstood his behaviour...Wow, Karvi, I can feel your anguish over what to do about this relationship and also your ability to judge people. Ok, I have a few thoughts on this I hope will help.
I wouldn't expect yourself to read a person who is deceitful and has mixed motives. I know you love him, and value him as a friend, but his flirting with you if he loves someone else is wrong- you did nothing wrong.
You can't help who you fall in love with. Have you tried confronting him about the other relationship?
Your instinct to distance yourself is what you should trust. Not him!
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Yes, apparently he has been with someone else during all this time. When I met him I saw him and I talked to him every day because we worked together at the same company, but when I changed job I stopped seeing him so often. Since then, we see each other from time to time and talk via social media.i can't tell you how many times i've been in this kind of position
but for me, always i think other people know when i have feelings for someone but apparently i'm an actual robot and very good at hiding all emotions ever
so maybe you might be the same way and he doesn't even know how you feel... which doesn't make the situation better, per se. i mean that maybe he's not intentionally trying to lead you on or anything.
i don't really have good advice other than it'll probably fade over time? although i do have a question - you've known him for two years and he's been with someone else that whole time and you only just found out about it?
then i would say that if you had been friends with him that whole time and it never even came up that he was in a relationship... either you two didn't know each other THAT well, or he was like intentionally hiding it or something. in either case, it seems like this is a situation that was not going to work out the way you wanted it to either way. i'm sorry that this has happened to you, but i hope that you can move on from it quickly. you deserve betterYes, apparently he has been with someone else during all this time. When I met him I saw him and I talked to him every day because we worked together at the same company, but when I changed job I stopped seeing him so often. Since then, we see each other from time to time and talk via social media.
And I think the same as you, hope all this story will fade over time. Maybe I just need to be patient...
oh no, that sounds really awful but good to know that everyone is OK. without knowing details, i think your reaction is totally understandable. hopefully it will fade over timeA car accident....... luckily no one was hurt but I've been thinking about it all day....... I know it's not my fault but somehow I feel like shit right now
I can feel your pain. I think when we interact with others, especially without seeing them face to face, our own interpretations take up a lot of weight in how we understand and perceive each other's reactions, and these interpretations in turn are heavily coloured by our own experiences in the past or personality structure, so they are very subjective, which leaves a lot of room for misunderstandings or loss of content.there may have been A Situation with one of my friends two weeks ago that ended with me just kinda quickly leaving to go home and then essentially ignoring him until just now when he finally sent me a message asking if i'm ok
so... i'm about to send him a message to say that something has been bothering me and that it's probably best to talk about it in person
but i'm nervous because i don't have real conversations with people especially not when it is me who is having the issue and me who has to *gulp* express their feelings
i don't do so well with expressing emotions, that's why this is my favorite smiley -> :|
haha, it does make sense. talking in person is definitely the ~~grown up~~ thing to do that's why i've told him i'll talk to him about it next time i see himI can feel your pain. I think when we interact with others, especially without seeing them face to face, our own interpretations take up a lot of weight in how we understand and perceive each other's reactions, and these interpretations in turn are heavily coloured by our own experiences in the past or personality structure, so they are very subjective, which leaves a lot of room for misunderstandings or loss of content.
That's why even if it's difficult, you always have to communicate openly and also state your feelings openly. Let's talk, let's talk...
(Don't know if this is making sense, it's 4 am here, I couldn't fall asleep and I need to get uo at 6.30 to arrive at the queue early...grrr)
Yeah that's true. We take people for granted and then say nice stuff when they're dead.Just wanted to leave this for those who might be down in the dumps. (No, this video is not just for atheists!) Appreciate every moment!
Mobile Link: https://youtu.be/GfBU-OeJ_Ss
I'm gonna follow his advice and say this: I love you all and I think you're amazing, my dear internet friends