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- Apr 10, 2015
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I wanted to write about the album Everyday Life and depression.
First off, I need to tell you that I'm suffering from clinical depression. I may have alluded to it before but a couple of weeks ago I decided to truly talk about it openly on Twitter and now I'm coming out with it on Coldplaying too. Because mental health is so important and it needs to get more awareness and understanding in the general public, and I'm trying to do my bit. Almost exactly one year ago, I was at an absolute low point. I missed watching AHFODFilm in the cinema because I was hospitalized on the morning of that very day.
One year on, I'm much more stable but there are times when I'm still feeling very depressed despite ongoing therapy. This illness has cost me a lot. I think it has even cost me a friendship that was very dear to me.
Just as a quick explanation, depression is NOT the same as sadness. It's very hard/impossible to understand if you have never felt it.
The difference is (for example), when I'm "only" sad, I can listen to Coldplay (an album like X&Y or AROBTTH maybe) and be sure the songs will lift me up. When I'm truly depressed, I can listen to X&Y and it won't speak to me anymore because I'm in a dark, emotionally unreachable place where I question my existence and life and everything.
That said, music may not lift me up but depressing music can make it worse.
So now Everyday Life came out (or rather, it leaked) and from the first minute of listening to it, I felt this would be an emotional, dark and heavy album. Don't get me wrong, I love it and think it's a masterpiece and musically I've been waiting for Coldplay to return to darker and heavy music for a long time. But I can't help wonder if listening to it that often is doing me any good right now. I'll list some songs I have issues with:
Sunrise is such a sad, sad track that ends with a glimmer of hope, but for most of it feels like a funeral march to me. Those strings really tug at your heart.
Trouble in Town is my favourite track tied with Champion of the World, but it is so dark and bleak and hopeless at times. When that piano comes in at "And I get no shelter..." and when the instrumental explodes and the chords change...
Daddy is such an emotional song and a tear jerker/heart breaker under any circumstance. But on Monday I was listening to Daddy when I found out that someone I thought of as a dear friend had blocked me on Twitter. It was just too much. I had to stop listening to the album when that happened.
Arabesque is not sad but very heavy and the truth is it makes me feel nervous and a bit overwhelmed at times
When I Need A Friend is on the melancholic spectrum or at least certainly feels like that to me.
Eko sounds very wistful/longing and sad in tone.
Old Friends is not sad per se but reminds me of the fact I have almost no friends and that people who are your friends today might have left you by tomorrow.
The piano in Bani Adam is so goddamn sad, sad, SAD. I really don't know where the band plucked all that sadness from suddenly. The second part with guitar and drums is not exactly happy either.
Everyday Life has such beautiful strings but they tug at my heart too.
Tl;dr I feel like listening to this album can potentially make you even more depressed.
I was wondering how you cope with what music does to your feelings, and if anybody has similar feelings about Everyday Life or sees it differently.
First off, I need to tell you that I'm suffering from clinical depression. I may have alluded to it before but a couple of weeks ago I decided to truly talk about it openly on Twitter and now I'm coming out with it on Coldplaying too. Because mental health is so important and it needs to get more awareness and understanding in the general public, and I'm trying to do my bit. Almost exactly one year ago, I was at an absolute low point. I missed watching AHFODFilm in the cinema because I was hospitalized on the morning of that very day.
One year on, I'm much more stable but there are times when I'm still feeling very depressed despite ongoing therapy. This illness has cost me a lot. I think it has even cost me a friendship that was very dear to me.
Just as a quick explanation, depression is NOT the same as sadness. It's very hard/impossible to understand if you have never felt it.
The difference is (for example), when I'm "only" sad, I can listen to Coldplay (an album like X&Y or AROBTTH maybe) and be sure the songs will lift me up. When I'm truly depressed, I can listen to X&Y and it won't speak to me anymore because I'm in a dark, emotionally unreachable place where I question my existence and life and everything.
That said, music may not lift me up but depressing music can make it worse.
So now Everyday Life came out (or rather, it leaked) and from the first minute of listening to it, I felt this would be an emotional, dark and heavy album. Don't get me wrong, I love it and think it's a masterpiece and musically I've been waiting for Coldplay to return to darker and heavy music for a long time. But I can't help wonder if listening to it that often is doing me any good right now. I'll list some songs I have issues with:
Sunrise is such a sad, sad track that ends with a glimmer of hope, but for most of it feels like a funeral march to me. Those strings really tug at your heart.
Trouble in Town is my favourite track tied with Champion of the World, but it is so dark and bleak and hopeless at times. When that piano comes in at "And I get no shelter..." and when the instrumental explodes and the chords change...
Daddy is such an emotional song and a tear jerker/heart breaker under any circumstance. But on Monday I was listening to Daddy when I found out that someone I thought of as a dear friend had blocked me on Twitter. It was just too much. I had to stop listening to the album when that happened.
Arabesque is not sad but very heavy and the truth is it makes me feel nervous and a bit overwhelmed at times
When I Need A Friend is on the melancholic spectrum or at least certainly feels like that to me.
Eko sounds very wistful/longing and sad in tone.
Old Friends is not sad per se but reminds me of the fact I have almost no friends and that people who are your friends today might have left you by tomorrow.
The piano in Bani Adam is so goddamn sad, sad, SAD. I really don't know where the band plucked all that sadness from suddenly. The second part with guitar and drums is not exactly happy either.
Everyday Life has such beautiful strings but they tug at my heart too.
Tl;dr I feel like listening to this album can potentially make you even more depressed.
I was wondering how you cope with what music does to your feelings, and if anybody has similar feelings about Everyday Life or sees it differently.